Relationships: Does Someone Just Need To Stay Positive If They Attract The Wrong People?

While the ideal will be for one to end up with someone who they get on with, it doesn’t mean that this is what takes place. Instead, one could have the tendency to end up with people who are not right for them.

A One-Off

If this was something that one had only experienced once, it might be a lot easier for them to handle. One could say that they were just unlucky, and that the next person they meet will be different.

This could mean that one will want to take their time before they begin a new relationship, or they could be on the lookout for someone else. If they were to take their time, it could show that this is something that had a big effect on them.

Another Experience

Having said that, it could just show that one wants to focus on another area of their life for the time being. If, on the other hand, one starts to look for someone else, it could show that they want to change how they feel.

Starting a new relationship could then be seen as a way for them to feel better about themselves, for instance. Or, one could just get a sense that now is the time to find someone to be with.

A New Beginning

Now, regardless of whether one was to take a break or not, they could find that their next relationship is nothing like their previous one. It would then have been a one-off and there will be nothing for them to worry about.

One way of looking at this would be to say that one just ended up with someone who wasn’t right for them. And now, for whatever reason, they have been able to attract someone who is.

The Same Story

However, while this might take place, one could also end up in a similar position to the one they were in before. In the beginning, it might seem as though they are with someone who is completely different.

But as time begins to pass, it could be only too clear that they with someone who isn’t right for them. There is also the chance that it could be far worse, and one could be with someone who is abusive.

The Same Experience

One could then end the relationship and end up with someone who is just the same. As a result of this, this will end up being something that is no longer a one-off; it will be a way of life.

This area of their life is going to be the same as it is for people who have the tendency to attract people who are not right for them. If one is used to attracting people who are abusive, it might be a lot harder for them to handle what is taking place.

No Better Off

For one thing, they are going to be with someone who physically harms them and/or puts them down. Being with these kinds of people is going to wear them down, and this is going to make it harder for them handle other areas of their life.

At the same time, if one ends up with people who are not right for them, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to overlook this area of their life. As far as they are concerned, this could be seen as being as bad as it can get, and they could experience a lot of frustration.

One Approach

If one was to talk to their friends about what they have been going through, they might tell them that they need to stay positive. And, through keeping their head up, so to speak, it will allow them to change their life.

One could take this on board and do what they can to make sure they don’t allow themselves to have negative thoughts. Through doing this, they may find that this area of their life begins to change.

A Distraction

Being positive will have allowed them to change their circumstances, and it could then be said that they their friends gave them great advice. Or if this wasn’t what their friends said to them, it might have been what they heard online.

Alternatively, one could find that being positive doesn’t do anything to their life; the only thing it does is make it easier for them to tolerate what is taking place. Therefore, their life is the same, but there is less resistance.

Digging In

It might then be a good idea for one to put the positive thinking to one and side and to take a look into what is taking place within them. On one hand, they end up with a different person each time but, on the other, they are the one who shows up each time.

What this shows is that this is not a random process; if anything, it is by design. However, when one is not aware of how what is taking place within them is affecting their life, they can believe that they just happen to end up with people like this.

Going Deeper

When it comes to the kind of person that one is attracted to (and attracts), it is often the result of what took place when they were younger. The kind of experiences they had during this time can define what feels comfortable.

For example, if their caregivers were abusive during this time, this can end up being what feels safe. It is then not going to matter how much time passes, as what is taking place within them will be the same.   

Awareness

When it comes to moving forward, there is going to be what is taking place in their mind and what is going on in their body. Up top, it will relate to their thoughts and beliefs, and, down below, it will relate to their feelings and sensations.

There is also the chance that their body is carrying trauma. The assistance of a therapist or a healer may be needed here.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk