It is often said that it is important for someone to make sure that they don’t allow ‘toxic’ people into their life. And upon reflection, it doesn’t take much thought to see why this is the case.
In a way, this is no different to one being told that they shouldn’t eat food that is unhealthy. Still, it can be far more common for one to hear about how they need to eat right, than it is for them to be told to be around the right people.
It has been said that we are what we eat, but what is rarely spoken about is that we end up like the people we spend most of our time with. This comes down to the fact that human beings are not independent of their environment.
A Common Theme
Even so, this doesn’t mean that everyone will be able to accept this, and this is due to so many people seeing themselves as being independent. This can set one up to believe that they don’t need anyone or anything.
Clearly this is an illusion, but this doesn’t mean that one will end up coming to their senses. Through believing that they don’t need anyone or anything, it can be something that fills them with pride.
As a result of this, one could believe that it doesn’t matter who they spend their time with, and this could set them up to suffer unnecessarily. Being around people who are not healthy can then be seen as something that doesn’t have an effect on them.
It is then going to be similar to one being near to a fire and believing that their clothes and body won’t absorb the smoke. It could then be said that even though they don’t realise what is taking place, it doesn’t mean that it won’t have a negative effect on their life.
On the other hand, this could be something that one realises even if they do see themselves as being extremely independent. There is then going to be no reason for them to spend time with people who could drain them.
One will then be responding in the same way as someone who doesn’t see themselves as being separate from their environment. And through drawing the line in this way, their life will be a lot easier.
For example, one is more likely to have an empowering idea of themselves when they spend time with people who are supportive. The acceptance that they give them will enforce their self-image in the same way that eating protein would strengthen their muscles.
How they see themselves and what they believe is possible is going to be heavily influenced by the people they spend time with. Thus, it makes complete sense to spend time with people who are like this.
Along with this, it will also be vital for one to have people around them who don’t walk over them or have the tendency to project their issues onto them. One can then be themselves around these people and they won’t feel the need to put on an act.
At times, the people around them could project their issues onto the, but this is not going to be the same as being around people who are unable to own their problems. This will be the difference between being hit with a few spots of rain and being caught up in a rainstorm.
The time that they spend with these people can then allow them to move forward in life and to achieve what they want to achieve. These people will be in their life because they value them and not because they are trying to avoid themselves.
Now, this is not to say that they won’t ever come into contact with people who are not good for them; what it means is that they won’t allow them to become a part of their life. One will know how to spot the red flags, so to speak.
Nevertheless, while it is going to be necessary for people to be mindful when it comes to who they let into their sphere of existence, it doesn’t mean that everyone responds to life in the same way. It could be said that some people will need to be more alert than others when it comes to this.
Also, what has a negative effect on them might not have the same effect on the average person. It is then going to be essential for one to be even more discerning when it comes to who they spend their time with.
Highly Sensitive Person
When one is sensitive, there is a strong chance that they will be more likely to pick up on how people feel, and it could be a challenge for them to enforce their boundaries. This can then set them up to be seen as an easy target by people who are out to cause harm.
Being this way is then going to mean that one will not only need to be wary of the people who are abusive, but also the ones who experience a lot of drama. If they don’t minimise the amount of time they spend around these types, they could soon end up feeling drained or even depressed.
The Right Diet
In the same way that someone will need to eat the right food if they have stomach problems, one will need to spend time around the right people to avoid being burnt out. By being selective when it comes to who they spend time with, it will allow them to function at their best.
And through not being able to handle a lot of stimulation, they might not need to spend a lot of time around others. When the people in their life understand this, there will be no reason for one of feel as though there is anything wrong with them,
If one is sensitive and they are used to being around people who are not right for them, it is going to be important for them to work on their boundaries. This will allow them to listen to their own needs.
The assistance of a therapist might be needed here.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.