When someone’s life is not going as they would like it to go, there are a number of things that they can do. This could be a time where one will end up feeling like a victim, and they could then suffer in silence.
One will then continue to live their life in the same way, and this can mean that their life will gradually get even worse. What this will show is that one will have resigned themselves to what is taking place.
But as far as they are concerned, this might not be a choice they have made; it could be seen as something that is out of their control. One is then going to be nothing more than a bystander in their own life.
Thus, if they do get worked up about what is taking place, it will simply cause them to experience even more pain. It can then be in their best interest to ignore how they feel and to just carry on with their life.
Alternatively, one could be drawn to people who experience life in the same way, and they will then be able to complain to each other. What they are going through won’t disappear, but it will be easier for them to handle.
Having people around them who are like this will enable them to experience a momentary relief. Yet, as this won’t allow them to change their circumstances, it could b said that they are going to be wasting their time.
A Different Perspective
This is something that could taker place if they were able to change their outlook, and if someone has this outlook from the start, they won’t need to see themselves as a victim. Through believing that they can do something about what is taking place in their life, there is going to be a greater chance of them looking for answers.
When it comes to what they do to change their life, it can all depend on what they are going though. However, the main thing is that they are not going to stop themselves from being able to take action.
If one had relationship problems, for instance, they could end looking for information online. Here, they will find articles, videos and books, and so it won’t matter how they prefer to learn.
Still, the kinds of answers they receive will largely be defined by the kinds of questions that they ask. Ergo, if one can’t find what they are looking for, they will need to change the questions they ask.
If one is going through a tough time or they keep experiencing the same challenges in their relationships, it can take a while for them to know what they need to do. As a result of this, there is going to be no reason for them to have a go at themselves if this takes a while.
For example, if one has moved to a new town, they won’t expect to know where everything is straight away. In the same way, one will need to be patient with themselves when it comes to understanding what is going on for them.
A Number of Different Approaches
When they are looking for answers, they can hear about how important their beliefs are when it comes to what their relationships are like. Along with this, they can learn about the power of their thoughts, and their behaviour can also be seen as an important factor.
One can then come to the conclusion that their life will change if they alter their beliefs and behave differently. There is then going to be no reason for one to take a look at what took place in their past.
On the other hand, this might not work, and they may then feel drawn to information that talks about how what took place during their early years may be affecting their adult relationships. Or, this could be something that they do straight away, and this could be because they sense that their younger years played a part.
And as one’s early years play a significant role in what they will be like as an adult, it could be said that it can be a good idea to take this approach. Through doing this, it can enable them to see their present day challenges in a completely different light.
The Next Step
Once they are aware of what took place, they will be able to do something about it; whereas if there were not aware, it would continue to control their life. One might see that even though they are no longer a child, the same patterns are being played out.
This can then be a time where they won’t just need to change their beliefs and behaviour, as they might be carry an emotional build-up and trauma that needs to be dealt with. It can then be seen as an approach that will cause one to experience more pain than if they were to purely focus on their mind and their behaviour, but it might be the one that will actually work.
If one finds that they attract relationships where they give more than they receive or end up with people who need saving, this could be a sign that their early years were a time when they had to meet their caregiver’s needs. This would have set them up to be ashamed of their needs, and this is why they try to get their needs met indirectly.
And through being there for other people, it is going to mean that their needs were generally ignored. This can then cause one to expect to much form others, and this is going to make it hard for them to find someone who is good enough.
Nevertheless, even though some people will find answers and gradually move through their challenges, there will be others who won’t get this far. Instead, they could find information that frames their problems in another way.
During this time, one could be told that the problems are due to them being an ‘old soul’ or something similar. The validation that this gives them can cause them to feel good and/or special, but it won’t necessarily allow them to change their life.
What they are going through can then be seen as something that is reflection of the fact that they are different to the average person. It could then be said this is something that can do more harm than good, even though one can feel good about themselves.
In the beginning, this could allow them to disconnect from their pain, but then as time goes by, this outlook is likely to be another way for them to suffer. To feel special is one thing, but if this stops one from being able to change their life, it might be better to not feel this way.
This is not to say that everyone is the same on this planet (or that ‘old souls’ don’t exist); what it comes down to is that it is easy for one to get caught up in things that won’t change their life. One way of looking at it would be to say that there are things that will allow them to pump up their ego.
The benefit this will give them will be far outweighed by how their life would be if they were to have fulfilling relationships. When it comes to moving forward, one might need to work with a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.