When one is in a relationship, they are likely to have less time to spend with their friends. This is because when they are with someone, they are going to spend a lot of their time with them.
And as they are going to be an important part of their life, it could be said that this is to be expected. Therefore, even though their friends might not be too pleased with what is taking place, they could realise that the same thing would happen if they were with someone.
The Same Position
Having said that, there is a strong chance that some of their friends are with someone, and so they may find it easier to accept what is taking place. These people could think about how it is not possible for their friend to see them as much as they did in the past.
But if one does have a friend who is not willing to see how their life has changed, there is not going to be anything they can do about it. As a result of this, it could cause their relationship to break down.
However, as the purpose of their life is not to please other people, they are not going to have anything to worry about. What this could show is that this is someone only thinks about themselves.
It could be in one’s best interest to no longer have this person in their life, as they are unable to think about their needs. If they were to put themselves in one’s position, they might be able to see things differently.
A Different Role
Yet even though one will have less time for their friends, it doesn’t mean that this is due to the fact that they don’t value them like they used to. Ultimately, one’s partner is not going to fulfil the same needs as their friends do.
For example, there could be things that they enjoy doing that their partner doesn’t, and this means that certain needs will be met when they are with their friends. Being in a relationship is then going to be a way for them to fulfil the parts of themselves that they wouldn’t fulfil with their friends.
When one spends time with their friends, it should be something that their partner is happy with. If this is not the case, it could be a sign that they wanted to do something with their partner as opposed to not wanting them to see their friend, or that they have friends who are not healthy.
This will then show that they are able to see that their partner has their own life to lead, and that they can’t tell them what they can or can’t do in life. Along with this, they are also likely to spend time seeing their friends.
If, on the other hand, one stopped seeing their friends, they would portably expect too much from their partner. In the beginning their partner might enjoy the attention, but as time passes, it might soon start to bother them.
Therefore, by having other people in their life, they won’t need to look towards their partner to fulfil every need. And when their partner has other people in their life who they are close to, one won’t feel weighed down either.
When one is in a relationship and they find time to spend time with friends, it could be said that this is the ideal scenario. Even so, one can end up ignoring their friends in the beginning, and this could be because they are caught up with the other person.
But as time passes, this could soon change and one will then find time for their friends again. Or they could stay this way, and if they were to see their friends, it could be something that takes place when they are out with their partner, for instance.
There is also the chance that one will only find time for their friends again if their relationship comes to an end. At this point, their friends could be only too happy to hear from then, or they might have moved on with their life.
What this emphasises is how friendships need to be nurtured, and if they are ignored, they can soon die off. If one ignores their friends when they are in a relationship, they are not going to be sending out a good message to them.
A Different Experience
However, even if one was to spend less time with their friends in the beginning and this started to change as time went by, they may find that their partner tries to stop them. This is something that may have taken place when they first got together.
It can be a lot easier for one to overlook this when they are in the early stages, but as time passes this might not be the case. In the beginning one could believe that this shows how much they like them, and then as the relationships progresses, they could have another outlook.
On one hand, they could try to stop them from seeing their friends through using their charm, for instance, and on the other hand, they could do this through abusing them in some way. Still, the approach that they take could depend on a number of different factors, and this will show that they will do anything to keep them close to them.
One could resist what is taking place and tell their partner that they can’t stop them from seeing their friends, or they might go along with what they want them to do. If they do stand their ground, their partner may soon change, or this could end up being the beginning of the end.
Sense of Self
What is likely to define how one responds is whether they have a strong sense of self; if they do, they are likely to assert their boundaries. They will feel comfortable in their own skin and so they won’t put up with someone telling them how to live their life.
Alternatively, when one doesn’t have a strong sense of themselves, it can be a lot easier for other people to manipulate them. Doing what other people want can be what feels comfortable and listening to their own needs and feelings can be what feels uncomfortable.
What generally defines whether someone has a strong sense of self or not is what their early years were like. If these years were a time when one was abused and/or neglected, it can set them up to tolerate people who treat them in the same way.
This doesn’t mean that one is therefore powerless, as they can develop a strong sense of self through working with a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.