Relationships: If Someone Is Still Attached To Their Ex Can It Stop Them From Being Able To Embrace Their Current Relationship?
If someone has just experienced a breakup, they may decide to take a break and to spend some time by themselves. Through taking this route, it will also give them the chance to face how they feel and to work through it.
A Grey Area
If they were with this person for a long period of time, it may mean that they are now in a lot of pain. Then again, one could feel this way even if they were only with their ex for a matter of months.
What this comes down to is that this is not something that is black and white. If it was, the amount of time that someone had spent with another person would define how they feel afterwards.
A Number of Factors
As a result of this, one could have been in a relationship for a number of years and find that they don’t feel too bad now that it is over. If they were to look back on their time together, they may see that their relationship had ended a long time ago.
They may have lived together, for instance, but it could have been as if they were living on separate planets. Said another way, physically they were close together but, mentally and emotionally, they were somewhere else.
If one was to take a break and to face how they feel, it could show that they have healthy relationship with their own emotions. Due to this, one is not going to want to run away from how they feel.
It might be more accurate to say that one is not going to want to avoid what is taking place in their own body. This could be a process that will take a few months, or it might take a little while longer.
It Will Pay Off
One could be only too aware of the fact that it would a lot be easier for them to find someone else to be with. This will allow them to feel good, and this is because they wouldn’t need to face how they feel.
Yet, while they may feel better in the short-term, this is likely to change as time goes by. Sooner or later, one will have to face what they have been avoiding, and this could cause them to experience a lot of pain.
What could also take place is that one could end up getting into another relationship shortly after. And while it might seem as though they are running away from themselves, this might not be the case.
For example, if one didn’t have an emotional connection with the person they were with, they could be relieved that their time together has come to an end. When they were together, they may have worked through a lot of pain and had the time to think about the kind of person who they want to be with.
A New Beginning
So, now that it is over, it’s not as if they are going to be in a bad way. Perhaps one has come across someone who is radically different to the person they were with before, and they could feel the need to find out more about them.
And, after getting to know them, one thing could find that they are now in another relationship. One will have let go of the person they were with and this is why they can embrace their current relationship.
When the above takes place, one will have both of their feet in the relationship, so to speak. Therefore, not only will they share their body with this person, they will also share their mind and heart.
However, when this doesn’t take place, one can be in a position where they only have one foot in their current relationship. Part of them will be with the person they are with and another part of them will still be attached to the person they were with.
From the outside it might seem as though one is in a relationship, but if they were to take a closer look, they may find that there is more to it. Ultimately, it is not going to be possible for one to fully commit to the person they are with.
Their partner may sense this, but then again, they could be with someone who is not fully available either. This could show that their partner is still attached to their ex, or they could be attached to one of their parents.
The Next Step
If one was to realise this, and they were to gradually let go of their ex, they may find that they are able to fully commit to the relationship they are in. At the same time, one might no longer want to be with this person.
What this will then show is that one was just trying to avoid themselves and now that they are no longer the same person, their needs have changed. When they tell the other person about what is going on, they could feel used.
Having said that, they might feel the same way, and this might then allow both of them to end their relationship in a fairly peaceful manner. If one is in a position where they are still attached to their ex, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support.
This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.