Relationships: Is A Woman A Victim If She Always Ends Up In An Abusive Relationship?

Although a woman can have the desire to be in a relationship that is healthy, it doesn’t mean that this will take place. Instead, she can end up with a man who is the complete opposite of the person she had in mind.

Moving On

As a result of this, this area of her life is not going to have a positive effect on her, and it could end up having a negative effect on every other area of her life. Still, this doesn’t mean that she will end the relationship.

She could continue to stay with him, and this is likely to mean that her life will end up getting even worse. Alternatively, she could decide to end the relationship, and this will give her the chance to feel better about herself.

A One-Off

If this is something that has only taken place once, it might be easier for her to move on with her life. She could believe that this was something that just happened and that it will be different next time.

What this could show is that she has had relationships in the past that were different. It is then not going to be something she has experienced on a number of occasions, and so there will be no reason for her to get too caught up with what has just happened.

Having a Break

Now that the relationship has come to an end, it can give her the chance to get over what she has just been through. Through taking this approach, there will be no reason for her to have a rebound relationship.

If she was to start a new relationship straight after, it might simply be a way for her to avoid how she feels. The other person will allow her to disconnect from how she truly feels, but that doesn’t mean that he will be a good match for her.
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Fast Food
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For example, if someone was hungry, they can end up eating just about anything they come across. Yet, if they were not as hungry, they might take the time to only eat things that are healthy.

And when it comes to starting a new relationship, it is going to be a lot easier for a woman to see if another person is a good match if she is not trying to run away from herself. It can be a lot harder to her to face how she feels, but it will make it easier for her to choose someone who is right for her.

External Support

Now, this is not to say that she will need to face how she feels by herself; as there is plenty support available. One of the reasons why a woman wouldn’t face how she feels is because it is too painful.

It is then not that she consciously chooses to start a new relationship; it is that this is something that happens without her even thinking about it. Alternatively, this might be something that happens consciously.
Another Experience

However, if a woman has just left an abusive relationship and this is not the first one she has had, it might be a lot harder for her to move on. She might start to think about if this is how her life will always be.

This can then be seen as something that she simply has to put up with, with their being no way for her to change her circumstances. Perhaps this was the second time she had been in an abusive relationship, or it might have taken place a number of times.

The Outcome

When this is something she has experienced a number of times, she might see herself as a victim. What takes place in this area of her life is going to be out of her control, and it will be down to men to change.

As far as she is concerned, all men could be the same, and it is then going to be normal for her to feel powerless. There can then be two choices: either she stays single, or she has a relationship with someone who will abuse her.

The Common Denominator

Nevertheless, if she was able to take a step back, she would see that she is the person who shows up each time. It is the not that she just happens to end up with men who are abusive; it is that she chooses men who are abusive.

This is not to say that this is something that takes place consciously, as it is likely to happen unconsciously. At a deeper level, there is a strong chance that being with a man who is abusive is what feels comfortable.

A Deeper Look

The reason this feels comfortable can be due to what took place when she was younger, and this may have been a time when she were abused by her caregiver/s. Through being treated in this way, it wouldn’t have been possible for her to develop in the right way.

This would have stopped her from being able to develop boundaries and it would have caused her to feel worthless, amongst other things. The years would then have passed but what took place all those years ago will still be defining her life.

Awareness

If a woman can relate to this and she wants to change her life, it might be a good idea for her to work with a therapist or a healer. This will give her the chance to work through what is taking place within her and to gradually attract (and to be attract to) a man who is different.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk