If one wanted to form new relationships with others, they could pay attention to their appearance and then look into what they can do to improve it. Along with this, one could also look into what else they could do to improve themselves.
And once they have done this, they could end up looking for places where they can socialise with others. However, one could do this without changing their appearance or working on themselves.
When they are around others, they could be the ones who make the effort, or they could sit back and wait for other people to approach them. As to what approach they take can depend on a number of different factors.
If one is more reserved, for instance, they may find that other people usually take the first step, and when they come into contact with someone, they may prefer to listen. On the other hand, if one is more outgoing they could be the ones who take the first step, and they could then find that they do most of the talking.
Having said that, this might not be the case, and this means that even if one doesn’t take the first step, it doesn’t mean that they won’t talk, in fact, they could end up being the ones who talk the most.
And if one does take the first step, they could also be the ones who don’t talk the most. There is also the chance that each of these people will be in balance, and this will then mean that there will be times when they talk and times when they don’t.
A Good Way to Be
Through having this ability, it will give them the chance to create relationships that are in balance. If one could only talk and they were unable to listen, they wouldn’t be able to find out others.
Ultimately, they would be ignoring the other person’s needs and they could come across as self-centred. It might then be a challenge for them to develop relationships with others, and if they do, it could be a sign that it’s only because these people don’t value themselves.
The Other Side
On the other hand, if one could only listen and they were unable to talk about themselves, it won’t be possible for other people to find out about their life. As a result of this, they will be ignoring their own needs.
Other people could also see them as secretive, and it could then be difficult for them to connect to them. Thus, one could end up spending time with people who only talk about themselves, and this could cause them to feel as though their needs are not important.
Nevertheless, even if one wasn’t looking to develop new relationships with others and only wanted to improve the ones they have, it will still be important for them to be able to listen and to talk. Therefore, if their relationships are not as they would like them to be; they could look into whether they are in balance.
During this time, they may find that although they talk about their own life, they don’t spend much time listening to what their friend’s have to say. Alternatively, they may find that even though they listen, they don’t share enough of their own life with others.
And while one could be a certain way with everyone they know; they could also find that this is not the case. For example, one may find that even though they are in balance when it comes to some people, they are not always this way.
But if one is the same around everyone they spend their time with, it could be said that they will have all the more reason to change. This could mean that one simply needs to pay attention to how they behave and then to change their behaviour or they might need to reach out for external support, for instance.
When one’s relationships are not very fulfilling, it could also be a sign that there is a lack of intimacy. This will then mean that it will be important for one to reveal more about themselves.
And as they do this, it may also encourage the people they spend their time with to do the same thing. One could then find that this will bring them closer to some of the people they spend their time with and that they will no longer be drawn to others; this is because some of these people might not be willing to change.
In order for intimacy to take place, one will need to open up and the other person will need to be responsive to what they have to say. And one will also need to behave in the same way when someone else opens up.
When this happens, will one listen to what the other person has to say and they won’t change the subject. This means that one will be displaying empathy and acknowledging what they have to share.
However, even though it will be important for one to be responsive when it comes to experiencing intimacy, it doesn’t mean that this is the only time when it matters. What this comes down to is that human beings are generally drawn to people who are responsive to what they have to say.
Due to this, it won’t matter whether they are talking about their feelings or what they have been doing that day. So through being responsive, one could end up creating a new friend or they could strengthen an existing relationship.
Pushing People Away
If one wanted a relationship to come to an end or to stop themselves from creating a new friendship, then it would be a good idea for them to be unresponsive to what another person has to say. When someone talks, one could talk over them; change the subject; or dismiss what they are saying.
One might only need to do this once if they are with someone they have only just met, but if they are with someone they have known for while, they might need to do this a few times. What this shows is that one can behave in ways that will either push people away or pull them closer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.