If a man is single, he may find that there is no one is his life that he can share certain things with. This can relate to how he feels, the challenges that he is going through and the things that he has done that he is not too happy about, for instance.
He can then have a big family and have a number of friends, but he won’t open up to any of these people. As a result, this is likely to mean that he will end up carrying a lot of stuff.
A Heavy Weight
Carrying all this weight can make it hard for him to function at his best. It could end up having a negative impact on his mental and emotional health, making it difficult for him to truly serve others.
A little while ago, however, he may have shared what was going on for him with his partner. Through opening up to this person, it would have stopped him from being weighed down by his own stuff.
Before long, he could soon end up finding someone else to be with, which will have a big effect on his life. Now, there will be someone in his life who he can share his inner world with.
Thanks to this, it might only be a matter of time before he feels lighter; allowing him to feel more relaxed. He is then going to feel different, and the people in his life may notice a shift – that is, of course, if they are observant.
At the same time, the people in his life might not need to be observant as it could be perfectly clear that he has changed. These people could put this shift down to the fact that he is no longer single, but there will be slightly more to it than that.
He will no longer have to keep everything to himself and this will have lifted a heavy weight from his shoulders. He might share just about everything with his partner and his partner could do the same thing with him.
One Step Too Far
By sharing so much with their partner it could enable them to have a very deep connection with them. Ultimately, this person will know far more about them than anyone else does.
The problem with this is that if their relationship comes to an end, they are going to be right back where they started. If this was just one of the people who they open up to, it would be a very different story.
And, by only sharing their inner world with their partner, there could come a time when this person starts to feel weighed down. In the beginning they may like it, but as time passes it could be too much for them.
Conversely, it could cause the other person to feel more like their mother than their partner. Due to what they have opened up about, the view that they have of them will have gradually changed.
A Big Difference
Naturally, there is a massive difference between a man revealing everything and keeping everything to themselves. Opening up about certain things can allow a man to form a deeper connection with their partner, yet revealing everything can lead to a loss of attraction and insecurity.
This is something that could be put down to evolution and how, if a man is with a woman, a primal part of her being is going to need a man who is strong. Therefore, it won’t matter what her intellect has been conditioned to believe during her time on this planet, as another part of her will have a far greater influence on her.
With this in mind, if a man is only confiding in his partner and he is telling them everything, it will probably be a good idea for him to change his approach. This way, there will be people he can open up to if the relationship does end and he will be able to share the things with these people that he doesn’t need to share with his partner.
He might be able to open up more to the people in his life or he may need to find other people who he can trust. These will be people who will keep what he tells them to themselves.
Keeping It Clear
Having these people in his life will allow him to talk about the type of things that might harm his relationship. For example, if he had noticed that he felt attracted to other women, sharing this with his partner might cause unnecessary drama.
Yet, by sharing this with another man, the man could tell him that this is normal and he could also go into the consequences that could arise if he was to act upon his desires. Sharing this with a trusted friend will have allowed him to get something off his chest and it won’t have contaminated his relationship.
What this emphasises is how important it is for a man to have other men in his life who he can open up to. This will stop him from looking towards his partner to fulfil the type of needs that only other men can fulfil.
One way for a man to find men like this is to join a men’s group. Here, he will be able to open up and ask for advice if he needs it, and the skills that he develops here can then be applied in the real world.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.