If one was to treat someone with respect, there is the chance that they will get a certain response. Whereas if they were to treat someone with disrespect, there is the chance they will get a completely different response.
When it comes to the first example, one might expect another person to respond in a positive manner, and in the second example, they are likely to expect them to respond in a negative manner. It could be said that this is the outlook that most people would have, and this is because human beings generally want to be treated well.
If one was to go to a populated area and to ask people if they would rather be treated with respect or disrespect, they may find that they all chose the first option. However, if they were to go and ask people if they prefer white or dark chocolate, the feedback they get is unlikely to be one sided.
It could be said that the reason for this is that not everyone likes the same kind of chocolate, but when it comes to respect, it is not something that is going to vary from one person to the next. As a result of this, one is unlikely to feel the need to conduct a survey; what they can also do is to think about their past experiences.
While there will be times when they have been shown respect, there are also going to be times when they haven’t been, and through thinking about these experiences, their inner experience is likely to change. When they were thinking about being respect, they could feel good about themselves.
Yet when it comes to thinking about being treated in the opposite manner, this might not be the case. Through feeling different, it could cause them to feel down, or they could end up feeling angry.
They could then believe that it is best to treat other people with respect, and while this could be because they like to be treated in this way, it might not be the only reason. What could also be behind this outlook are the experiences they have had where they have been treated badly.
Therefore, the experiences where they have been disrespected have not caused them to be bitter; they have had a positive impact on their life. Through being treated badly, they have realised why it is so important to treat people with respect.
If they were in a position where they have been defined by the experiences where they have been disrespected, it might be normal for them to treat other people in the same way. Through being treated in this way, they can end up feeling as though their behaviour is justified.
As they have been treated badly, they might think that other people deserved to be treated in the same way. Another way of looking at this would be to say that this allows them to experience indirect revenge.
The pain they have experienced has then defined them, and this shows that their life is simply a reaction to what they have been through. But in order for them to behave in this way, it is likely to mean that they have closed their heart.
Through being out of touch with their own feelings, it makes it possible for them to overlook other people’s feelings. Their ability to empathise is not longer available, or not as accessible as it would be if they were in touch with their feelings.
When someone has been treated badly and they still believe in treating people with respect, it shows that their experiences haven’t defined them. Instead, their experiences have redefined them, and this will be a sign that they have been able to respond to what has happened.
Through taking this approach, it is likely to mean that they still in touch with their own feelings, and it is then going to be normal for them to empathise with others. This wouldn’t be the case if they had closed their heart as a way to avoid pain and got caught up in their so called ‘lower’ emotions, such as anger, rage and resentment.
On one side, there is treating people with respect, and on the other side, there is treating them how one would like to be treated. When it comes to respect, it could be said that it relates to something fairly general, but when it comes to treating them how one would like to be treated, it could be said that relates to something more specific.
However, it can all depend on the associations that someone has, as they might see them as being the same thing. Yet with that aside, not every wants to be treated in the same way, and so how one likes to be treated might not be how another person wants to be treated.
Along with this, not everyone is going to be able to handle being treated with respect; in fact, they could see it as a sign of weakness. This could be a sign that they have been taken advantage of for treating people well, and this causes them to misinterpret other people’s behaviour.
As a result, being treated with respect could cause them to see someone as an easy target, and they could end up behaving as if they have been disrespected. Through being caught up in the past, it is not possible for them to respond; the only thing they can do is project.
Instead of one treating others as they would like to be treated, they could take the time to understand how they like to be treated. Upon meeting someone, they could treat them with a certain level of respect, and then as times passes; they could gradually begin to treat them in ways that match up with how they like to be treated.
In order to do this, one will need to be in tune with someone as opposed to being caught up with their own needs. But like most things, this is something that can become second nature providing they put the effort in.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.