Relationships: Is It Harder For Someone To Leave An Abusive Relationship When They Are Emotionally Dependent?
When someone is in a situation that doesn’t serve them, it is going to be in their best interests to move on. Nevertheless, it might not be possible for them to walk away and to put this all behind them.
The Next Step
The reason for this is that one could be in a job that is paying them the money that they need to survive. Therefore, if they were to just walk away, there life could end up getting even worse.
In order for them to get away, they will need to find somewhere else to work. Once they have found another job, they will finally be able to walk away from somewhere that has run its course.
Alternatively, one could be in a relationship with someone that is no longer working, or perhaps it has become abusive, for instance. They may even have tried to make it work, but it could be clear that this is not going to happen.
So, even though it might be hard for them to end the relationship, they will know that this is what they need to do. If they were to carry on and to pretend that everything is ok, it is only going to get worse.
And the longer they stay with them, the harder it is likely to be for them to walk away. One could end up feeling extremely low, that is they don’t feel that way already, and they won’t have the energy to do what is necessary.
They might just be able to walk away, or there could be a number of things that they need to think about. For example, if they have children or are unable to support themselves financially, they will need to think about their children or how the will support themselves.
If one does have children, they could have moments when they think about how they need to stay with their partner for the sake of their children. Yet, while this can sound like the right thing to do, it could end up doing more harm than good.
This is certainly going to be the case if they are in an abusive relationship; their child/ children will end up having to live in a dysfunctional environment. And no matter how old they are, this is not going to be good for their development.
Short-Term Pain, Long-Term Gain
On the other hand, if one is in a position where they depend on their partner for money, it is going to be no different. Staying with them for this reason is not going having a positive effect on their wellbeing.
It will be vital for them to believe that this can change, and then to look for a way for make this happen. What could give them the motivation that they need is if they focus on how they will feel if they continue to experience life in this way.
There is also going to be the part that one’s mental and emotional health will play in all this, as it is going to be a lot easier for them to walk away if they are able to handle their own emotions. If they can do this, they are not going to be emotionally dependent on the other person.
So, regardless of whether they need their partner’s financial support, they will know that they don’t need to be with them in order to experience inner stability. Through having this ability, it can give them the strength to be able to listen to themselves.
As a result of this, it is likely to mean that one ended up with this person because they wanted to be with them. And if this is the reason why they ended up together, there is going to be no reason for one to stay with them if they no longer want to be with them.
Now, this is not to say that one won’t feel sad or down, for instance, after the relationship has ended; what it is likely mean is that they won’t emotionally collapse. This comes down to the fact that one will be an interdependent an adult, as opposed to a dependent adult.
A Different Experience
There is then going to be others who are unable to handle their own emotions, and this is going to make it a lot harder for them to end a relationship that is no longer working. If one can relate to this, they may find that this played a big part in why they got together in the first place.
One might have just been looking for someone to settle them down or to ‘complete them’, and this may have caused them to rush into a relationship. Consequently, one wouldn’t have taken the time to find out if they were suitable for them.
There may then have been clear signs that this person wasn’t right for them and their friends may also have told them to find someone else, but it wouldn’t have had an effect on them. Their emotions would have been in control, and this would have stopped them from being able to think clearly.
If they were to think about leaving the person they are with, they could end up being overwhelmed with fear. It can then seem as though they only have two options: either they stay in a relationship that is having a negative effect on them, or they walk away and end up being even worse off.
A Deeper Look
What is clear is that is that one’s life would be radically different if they had the ability to handle their own emotions. There is likely to be a reason why they are experiencing life in this way, and it can be due to what took place when they were younger.
During this time they may have been abused and/or neglected by their caregivers, and this would have stopped them for being able to develop in the right way. Not only won’t they be able to regulate their emotions, they will also be carrying a lot of trauma.
And if one is carrying a lot of trauma, it is going to be more of less impossible for them to sooth themselves. If one is experiencing life in this way, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.