If one has the desire to be in a relationship, they could have a clear idea about the kind of person that they want to be with. Perhaps one is at the stage of their life where they want to settle down and have children.
But even if this isn’t the case, they might want to find someone who is driven, has a good sense of humour, is reliable, and has similar values. It might also be important for them to be with someone who has a certain type of appearance.
As a result of this, it is not going to be enough for someone to behave in the right way; they will also need to have the right look. Therefore, if one was to meet someone who had the right personality but didn’t do it for them when it came to their appearance, it is not going to go any further.
This may mean that they would end up taking things further if they had the right appearance; it could all depend on what is taking place within them. For example, if one felt needy, it could cause them to do something that they might later regret.
Through having such a strong desire to be with someone, it would have caused them to go against their true needs. What this will allow one to see is how powerful their emotional needs are.
This is the kind of thing that can happen when one hasn’t been with someone for a little while, or if they are still carrying unmet childhood needs. Yet, even if they were to do something like this, they could soon be back on track.
The Right Match
After a while, they could end up meeting someone who ticks all the right boxes, and this might enable them to put what has happened behind them. And even if one hasn’t just been with someone who wasn’t right for them, they are still going to be pleased about what is taking place.
In addition to the traits they were looking for, there are likely to be the traits that they just expected someone to have. This is not to say that these are things that they have consciously thought about.
Part of Life
One of the things this can relate to is for the person they meet to have the ability to empathise with them. If someone was to ask them why this wasn’t on their list, they could say that this because this is something that every human being has.
Based on this, it would be the same as them looking for someone who has a brain. So, even though one didn’t have this trait on their list, being with someone who can empathise with them is clearly going to have a big effect on their relationship.
A Vital Component
In fact, it could be said that it would be incredibly difficult for one to have a relationship with this person if they lacked this ability. Through being with someone who can put themselves in other people’s shoes, so to speak, it will allow them to connect to each other.
One will be able to share their feelings and needs, and their partner will be able to acknowledge what is taking place within them. This is then going to stop their relationship from being one-sided.
Now, this doesn’t mean that their partner will always understand how they feel; what is means is that they will have a rough idea about what they are going through. Thus, even though they are two individuals, their ability to empathise with each other will close the gap that is between them.
What this will then mean is that it will be easier for their partner to meet some of their needs. There will be moments when this takes place through talking to them, and there will be the moments when this takes place through tuning into their emotional state.
A Bit of Both
When they both have the ability to tune into what is going on for the other person and what is taking place within them, it will stop them from being out of balance. The alternative would be for one to completely focus on their partners needs, or for them to be consumed by their own needs.
If the former was to take place, it would cause them to suffer and, if the latter was to occur, it would cause their partner to suffer. Perhaps this is why it is often said that a relationship is a dance, as each person needs to be able to lead and to follow.
Out of Balance
However, although one might expect everyone on the planet to have this ability, it doesn’t mean that this is the case. There are plenty of people on this planet who are unable to empathise with others.
This could show that they are simply out of touch with their emotions or there could be more to it, but it is going to lead to the same outcome. One can then feel as though they are with someone who is unable to pick up on the signals that they are sending out.
It is then not going to matter how they feel, as their partner is not going to b able to tune into their experience. If one is upset or angry about something, they could tell them to move on, or they could just end up walking away.
Another thing that could take place is that one could talk to their partner about how their behaviour is having a negative effect on them, but it could go in one ear and out of the other. One can then end up feeling as though they are talking to a brick wall; the person they are with will look a human being, but they won’t act like one.
To be with someone like this is not just going to be confusing; it will also cause one to suffer mentally and emotionally. If one finds themselves with someone like this, it might be best for them to cut their ties.
And when one has the tendency to end up with people like this, it might be a good idea for one to reach out for external support. This could show that they feel worthless and that they don’t feel comfortable with their own needs, amongst other things.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.