Relationships: Is It Normal For Someone To Have Low Self-Esteem After They Have Left An Abusive Relationship?
While some people are going to be used to having relationships that are fulfilling, there are going to be others who are not. In this case, someone could find that they have the tendency to end up with people who are not right for them.
This is not to say that they will treat them badly; what it comes down to is that they are not going to be on the same page, so to speak. They may find that there are times when someone looks right, or has the level of intelligence that they desire, for instance.
But although they have these attributes, as well as many others, there is always going to be something that is missing. If they were to think about each person individually, they might be able to say what it was, or they may find that this is not always possible.
The Right Track
When one is used to having fulfilling relationships, there is the chance that they are currently in one. This can then mean that there is going to be no reason for them to spend too much time thinking about this area of their life.
Yet, if they are not with someone, they will know that they have the ability to attract someone who is right for them. It could just be that they need to make a few minor adjustments.
The reason their last relationships ended could be because one of them had to move away, or perhaps only one of them wanted children. As a result of this, it had to end or it would have only created problems.
One could then have the desire to meet someone like their ex, but who is not going to be moving away. And they may want to meet someone who does/doesn’t want children, for instance.
The Wrong Track
On the other hand, when one is not used to being with someone who is right for them, this could be something that will consume their whole life. They might spend a lot of time thinking about what is going on, and they could believe that this will never change.
If they are relatively young, it might be easier for them to handle what is taking place; they could believe that it will change as they get older. But if they have gone past this point, it could be a lot harder for them to simply sit back and see what happens.
Time Is Of the Essence
There could be a sense of urgency within them, and this could cause them to look for answers. When it comes to how they feel about what is taking place, they could experience frustration, anger and even a sense of hopelessness, from time to time.
They may even wonder if they have what is takes to attract the right person, and this will show that their confidence has been affected. Still, one could simply acknowledge how they feel and realise that it is going to be normal for them to feel this way.
However, if they are able to reach out for the right support, there is a strong chance that their circumstances will soon change. This is not to say that this will have overnight, but it will happen if they keep going.
And in addition to what they do, it will also be important for them to trust in the direction their life is taking. One will then be utilising their masculine and feminine aspects, and this will show that they are operating as a whole human being.
On the other side of the spectrum are going to be people who are used to being in relationships that are abusive. When they are with someone like this, they life is likely to be living hell.
If they are not being treated badly, they could be thinking about what they can do to get away from them. This could be easier said than done though, as their partner may have gradually worn them down.
Enough Is Enough
Nevertheless, the time will come when they are able to get away from them, and this is going to be a big relief. They might no longer need to see them anymore, and they might not have to hear from them again either.
Even so, this doesn’t mean that they will be able to carry on with the rest of their life, as they could end up being in a bad way. They could feel completely worthless, and they might not want to be seen by others, let alone go near them.
Yet, if they have been with someone who has abused them, it is to be expected that they will feel this way. If a fresh apple was dropped into a box of rotten apples, it would only be a matter of time before it ends up being the same as the others.
But while it is not going to be possible to change what has happened to the apple, this is not going to be the case when one has spent a lot of time around someone who is toxic. Regardless of what has taken place, they can gradually begin to change how they feel about themselves.
If one doesn’t take the time to do this, they could soon end up in the same position. Having said that, if one has been in a number of abusive relationships, this could be something that they are only too aware of.
It is then going to be vital for them to reach out for the right support, in order to put an end to what is taking place. As if one has the propensity to end up with people like this, they are not simply unlucky.
They might not be aware of why they attract people like this, but if they were to take a deeper look into what is taking place within them they might soon find out. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.