On one hand, there is where one will meet someone who they will become friends with, and on the other hand, there is reason why they will become friends with them. And when it comes to where they can meet someone, this is not going to be limited to one place.
There will be the more traditional places, such as where they work and different social clubs, and as a result of the internet, it is also possible for one to meet people online. It could be said that this is the more direct approach, as one is going to be in the kind of environments where friendships are generally formed.
In the past, one wouldn’t have met people online, and this is because this option simply wasn’t available. During the early stages, one could have used a forum or an online chat room to meet people.
And while this is something that can still take place, one can end up using a social media site instead. One can then join a group or connect to someone through replying to a comment that they have made.
However, when it comes to a more indirect approach, it would relate to the kind of environments where friendships are not generally formed. In this case, one will develop a connection with someone when they least expect it.
This could be something that will take place if they were to go shopping or to have their car repaired, for instance. If this was to take place, it could mean that one is fairly outgoing, but at the same time, this might not be the case.
Just as there are a number of places where one can meet a new friend, there are just as many reasons to as to why they would become friends with them. In general, it will be down to the fact that they have something in common.
For example, if one enjoys playing golf and they were to meet someone who has the same hobby, they could end up striking up a friendship. This could then go one step further and they could end up playing together.
Thus, as one has something in common with them, it has enabled them to develop a new friendship. And while they might only play golf with them, they could end up doing other things together.
Having said that, having one thing in common is not always going to be enough, and it could be said that there will always be other factors involved. Therefore, if someone else said that they like playing golf, it might not have an effect on them.
When one ends up developing a friendship with someone, there can be what is taking place on the surface and what is taking place at a deeper level. On the surface, it will relate to what they have in common, and when comes to what is occurring at a deeper level, it can relate to their values.
What will also play a part is how one feels about themselves, or what is often described as their level of self-worth. When one’s values match up with someone else’s and they have a similar level of self-worth, there can be a greater chance of them developing a strong friendship.
One way of looking at this would be to say not every friend that one has is going to be on the same level. There will be some people who they see when they go out, but that will be as far as it goes.
Whereas there will be other people who they see because they have arranged to see them. With these people, they won’t just talk about what they have been doing; they will also talk about what they have been through and what they want to achieve, among other things.
Another way of looking at this will be to say that one won’t experience intimacy with every friend they have. And even though one may know why they only open up to some of their friends, this might not be something they think about,
What it could come down to is that they feel comfortable around the people they open up to and not as comfortable around the ones they don’t. This will be the sensible approach to take, as if one was to share everything with everyone they know, they would set themselves up to suffer.
Yet, even though one can have the ability to assess what someone is like, it doesn’t mean they will always know what their intentions are. At times, it will be clear as to why they are friends with someone, and at other times, it might not be.
For example, one could find that they have a connection with someone and this could be based on their interests, as well as their values. Still, if one was to take a closer look, they may find that there is more to it than meets the eye.
Along with these factors (as well as others), one may find that the other person is attracted to them, and this could be a member of the same or the opposite sex. If this is a member of the opposite sex, it might stand out more than if it was a member of the same sex.
Once they come to realise what is taking place, one could dismiss it, or it could be something that has a positive effect on how they feel about themselves. Alternatively, it could cause them to feel uncomfortable, and make them question how authentic the friendship is.
Now, this doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with one having a friend who is attracted to them, as it could be said that this is simply part of life. However, there is also the chance that once they no longer find them attractive or find someone else that catches their eye; the friendship could come to an end.
It is then not going to be a friendship that is based on firm foundations, and it would be more like the kind of relationship one would have with a lover. In this instance, their partner could no longer find them attractive and then the relationship could come to an end.
But without going this far and only looking at what will take place within the friendship; it would be normal for one to be suspicious. One won’t know if their friend enjoys their company because they appreciate them or because they want to take things further, so to speak.
If one finds themselves in this position, it will be down to them to decide what approach to take. They could enjoy it while it lasts, or they could take a step back and focus on their real friendships.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.