If one is at a stage in their life where they are taking a break from being with someone, they may find that some of the people in their life are in relationships. In fact, everyone they know could be with another person.
And, if they were to spend time with these people, they may find that they are all in a fulfilling relationship. Through having these kinds of experiences, it is likely to give them a good feeling about being with someone again.
But regardless of this, one could look back on their relationships and see that this is an area of their life that has generally had a positive effect on them. The moments they have shared with others that were not like this are then going to be overshadowed by the moments that were.
This could then show that their relationships have typically ended before they allowed themselves to see the other person in a negative light. When this took place, they would have been able to walk away without being consumed by negativity
A Number of Reasons
One could look back on their life and see that there are a number of reasons as to why their relationships have come to an end. And how old they were when they came to an end can play a part here.
For example, the time might have come for one to go to college/university, and this might have meant that they had to end the relationship they were in. Also, perhaps they have been with people who they outgrew.
One can then be in a position where they are enjoying being single, and they are not going to be in a rush for this to change. Due to what is taking place in their life, they may feel as though they haven’t got time for a relationship.
At this stage of their life, the most important thing might be their career. But as they don’t have the desire to find someone, they might end up coming into contact with someone who is right for them.
The Right Place
As one is not looking for someone, it might be hard for them to understand how something like this has happened. For one thing, it is not as if they were looking for someone to be with.
However, what this can come down to is that when one is attached to something, it can stop it from showing up. Therefore, through not having the need to find someone, it will have made it easier for them to attract the right person.
Another thing that can play a part here is that the time has come for them to meet someone new. It is then going to be down to them to decide if they want to embrace this opportunity.
But if they have a connection with them, they could find that this is something that ends up taking care of itself. It will now be the time for them to embark on a new relationship.
Yet although one might be in this position, there is also the chance that their life is nothing like this. As a result of this, if they were to meet someone who they have a connection with, they might be only too happy to take things further.
If they were to look back on their life, they may find that this area of their life has brought them a lot of pain. At times, they may have thought about turning their back on finding someone.
Part of Them
The trouble is that even if they were to do this, their need to be in a relationship with someone won’t simply disappear. There may have been parts of their life when they were able to disconnect from this need, and then moments when it came right back to the surface.
During the moments when it came back to the surface, it could have been something that took place when they saw two people together. Watching a film or a TV series might also have had the same effect.
Out of Reach
One may find that there has been a common theme when it comes to the people they meet. There might have been the ones who were not a match, but in the majority of cases, they may see that they were unavailable.
This is not to say that one would have realised this in the beginning though, as they may have created the impression that this wasn’t the case. But as time passed, it would have become clear that they were not ready to have a relationship.
Part of Life
Through having these kinds of experiences over the years, one can come to believe that there is nothing they can do to change their circumstances. While other people will be able to have fulfilling relationships; this is going to be something that is out of their reach.
These people could be seen as being lucky, or as though they have something that they don’t have. One is then going to have to accept that their life will always be this way; that is until their luck changes.
If one was to take a step back, they would see that they are the person who shows up each time. Based on this, it is going to be a good idea for them to look into what part they are playing.
As if one has the tendency to attract people who are unavailable, it can show that they are also unavailable. Their world is then mirroring back what is taking place within them and, unless this changes, their life is unlikely to change.
The reason one experiences life is this way can come down to what took place when they were younger. At this time, they may have been brought up by someone who didn’t respect their boundaries.
It would then have been normal for them to feel smothered and overwhelmed as a child, and this would have set them up to fear intimacy. This could be a sign that one experienced emotional incest.
If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist. This will give them the opportunity to look into what is taking place for them and to work through it.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.