If one spends a fair amount of time watching TV, there is a strong chance that they have watched programs where people have cheated on their spouse or partner. This is often a common theme when it comes to dramas and soaps, for instance.
At the same time, one may have also have friends or family members who have strayed in the past. They may even find that someone they know is cheating on their partner or that someone in their life is being cheated on.
Closer to Home
Then again, one might even be with someone who they believe is cheating on them. Due to how their partner is behaving, one might have come to believe that they must be having an affair.
They may even have read emails or texts that prove that their partner has another person in their life. To make things worse, one may have had other people tell them the same thing.
A Number of Responses
Now that one is aware of what is going on, they might look into what would be the best thing to do. Alternatively, one might simply ignore what is going on and pretend that everything is fine.
If the latter takes place, it could be said that one will be in denial, and this will then be a way for them to avoid pain. In the short-term, this may appear to solve the problem, but as time passes, it might soon become clear that this approach won’t solve anything.
What one may find is that behaving in this way gradually destroys their wellbeing and self-respect. But as one will be putting up with bad behaviour, it is to be expected that this would have a negative effect on their mental and emotional health.
And how can one truly respect themselves if they stay with someone who spends time with another person? To change how they feel, they will need to take action and to no longer tolerate this kind of behaviour.
When one does something about this, they will be telling themselves that they don’t deserve to be treated in this way. However, when they don’t do anything about this, they will be telling themselves that they deserve to be treated in this way.
Their self-esteem will go down and this will make it harder for them to do anything about what is taking place. When it comes to the next step, one could speak to their partner directly or they could go online and look for information.
The Main Area
What this can show is that there was a breakdown in communication, as their partner is cheating instead of speaking. If their partner felt comfortable talking about what was going on for them, it might have stopped them from behaving in this manner.
This may come as a surprise, as one could believe that they do talk about what is going on for each other. So, if their partner is not willing to talk about what is going on and continues to see the same person (or a number of people), it might be in their best interest to end the relationship.
Should this take place, and one was to walk away, they look back on their life and see that this is the first time that something like this has ever happened. One could then put this down to bad luck and move on with their life.
On the other hand, this might not be the case, meaning that one may have been in a number of relationships that were like this. As a result of this, one may believe that this is what will happen no matter who they end up with.
Taking all this into account, it would be easy to say that this person just happens to end up with people who cheat on them. One is then a victim, and it might be a good idea for them to stay single - that is unless they want someone else to cheat on them.
Another way of looking at this would be to say that there is a reason why this keeps happening. Their conscious mind is unlikely to agree with this, and this is why they will need to take a look at what is taking place at a deeper level.
A Deeper Look
What is likely to play a part in why they continue to have these experiences is what they believe and how they feel in their body. If one was to get in touch with how they feel when someone cheats on them, they may start to get in touch with the feelings they are carrying in their body.
This may be a time when they feel abandoned, rejected, worthless, betrayed, and angry. One may believe that these feelings just appear when someone cheats on them, but these feelings may have been with them for many, many years.
When they were growing up, this may have been how they were used to feeling around their caregivers. Maybe they were abused and/or neglected during this time, and not only would this have caused them to experience trauma, these experiences would also have had an effect on what they believe about themselves and the world around them.
For example, being treated in this way may have caused them to believe that they were worthless and not good enough, that people can’t be trusted, that they will always be let down by others, and that they deserve to be treated badly, amongst other things. What this would then show is that what keeps happening in their adult life is nothing more than a reflection of what happened when they were younger.
If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.