As to whether or not it is a good idea for someone to go along with another person’s emotional state can all depend on what state they are in. If this person is happy, embracing the same state is likely to have a positive effect on ones wellbeing.
On the other hand, if this person is angry or even miserable, embracing this state is unlikely to do them any good. There are then going to be times when it will be a good idea for one to allow their emotional state to mimic another person’s emotional state and times when it won’t.
However, even though this is the case, one may find that there are times when they are unable to control how they feel. Ergo, irrespective of what is going on for another person, they will end up being drawn in.
This is not going to be a problem if another person is in a good place, but it will be if they are not. When it comes to the latter, it might be necessary for one to get away from the other person.
A Time and A Place
This doesn’t mean that one should get away from someone if they are going through a tough time. The reason for this is that there will be times when another person won’t be in a good way and it will be a good idea for them to offer their support.
Someone in this person’s life may have passed on, putting them in a very low place. Ones mood can then drop during this time, but shortly after their time together has come to an end, it should return to how it was.
Undoubtedly, having the ability to connect to another person’s mood is going to have a positive effect on their relationships. At the same time, being able to maintain their state will also allow them to act like an individual.
If they didn’t have this ability, they would end up acting as though they were simply an extension of other people. Instead of being able to assert themselves, they would be at the whim of other people’s moods.
Just because someone else is not in a good place or is very angry, for instance, it doesn’t mean that one should join them. Ultimately, there is no need for them to feel responsible for what another person is going through; that is, of course, unless they have played a part in what is going on for them.
And if the other person takes responsibility for what they are going through, they won’t expect one to act like they have played a part. This can show that the other person also has well defined boundaries.
A Different Reality
Not everyone is going to be able to relate to this, which means that there will be people that find it hard to maintain their emotional state around others. Thus, instead of being able to act like an individual, they can act as though they are just an extension of others.
If they are able to maintain their emotional state, it may only be due to the fact that another person’s emotional state is the same. The other person will provide them with the permission that they need in order to experience the same feelings.
Walking On Egg Shells
It is likely to be a challenge for them to assert themselves around others; their primary concern will be to tune into what someone else is experiencing. Deep down, they could believe that it is not safe for them to express who they are.
So like a waiter who does their best to make sure that everyone is happy; it will ones job to make sure that other people are happy. For some reason, they will believe that they are responsible for how other people feel.
Some of the people in their life may lack boundaries, causing them to blame one for how they feel. But as one also lacks boundaries, they are going to just put up with this kind of behaviour.
If they are in an intimate relationship, they may find it hard to relax around their partner. Being focused on what is taking place externally will be a way for them to try to predict when their partner is going to lose their temper, making it easier for them to handle what happens.
A Closer Look
Doing what they can to please others is going to be what feels comfortable, yet it is going to cause them to hide their true-self. If one was to take a step back and to reflect on how long their life has been this way for, they may come to the realisation that what is taking place in their adult life is a continuation of what took place during their early years.
At this stage of their life, they may have had at least one caregiver who was emotionally unpredictable. As a result of this, they wouldn’t have been able to relax into their body and to listen to their own needs; they would have had to live on edge and to focus on what was taking place externally.
This caregiver may have blamed other people for how they felt, too, and this would have set one up to believe that they were responsible for whether or not they were happy. The care that one needed wouldn’t have been provided, with them acting more like a caregiver than a child.
Consequently, one will have poor boundaries and have a weak connection with their inner world. Developing boundaries and getting in touch with their true-self will be an essential part of their healing process.
If one can relate to this, and they want to transform their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.