Relationships: It Is A Good Idea To Put Someone On A Pedestal?

While one can see other people as being on the same level as they are, they can also see them as being on another level. When this happens it is not going to matter that someone is simply another human being, as they will be seen as being far more.
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Two Levels

One is then going to be on the ground and the people they come into contact with will be high in the clouds. Ultimately, these people will be seen as being more-than human, and one will see themselves as being-less-than human.

So although these people are also human beings, it is going to be a challenge for one to connect to them. Based on how they experience life, it is going to be as if the people around them are from another planet.

Another Experience

Alternatively, one may have the tendency to put certain people on a pedestal, and this is then not going to affect their whole life. This could mean that one will look up to their boss or they might look up to certain celebrities.

What will also have a big effect on their life is if they are this way with their friends and their partner, if they have one. Regardless of what they talk about, these people could be seen as knowing far more than they do.

Superior

If one was to take a step back when they are with one of these people, they may find that they feel like a child. This is then going to be a child that is looking up to his/her parent, and there will be a clear difference in their stature.

What this will illustrate is that one will look like an adult, but they won’t see themselves as one. However, while taking a step back would allow them to see what is taking place, this might not happen.

Life Goes On

Instead, one is likely to continue to perceive people in this way, and this is going to stop them from being able to have balanced relationships with the people in their life. When one is in their company, they might feel the need to do what they can to please them.

This is then going to be a way for one to compensate for the fact that they believe that they are not as valuable as them. Even so, this is not going to allow one to permanently change how they see themselves; it will just give them the opportunity to be around someone who they believe is so much better than they are.

Tunnel Vision

When one begins a new relationship, it is not going to be possible for them to see that the other person is not perfect. Their mind will filter out anything that goes against the idealised image that they have created.

Consequently, the idea they have formed of this person is not going to match up with who they are. In the beginning, the other person could enjoy being treated in this way, but as time passes it could be too much for them to handle.

Extreme Pressure

This is not to say that their conscious mind will realise what is taking place; this could be something that they are aware of at a deeper level. Either way, this person could feel as though they need to maintain a certain image.

And if they were to fail to live up to this image, one could end up rejecting and/or abandoning them. Yet, no matter how hard they try to live up to this image, there will come a time when it comes crashing down.

A Big Difference

When this happens, one could end up turning their back on this person, and they could act as though they have been deceived. Therefore, even though they are the ones who elevated their partner, they will act as though they were being taken advantage of.

At one point, one will have seen this person as being from another world, and at another, they will see them as having no value whatsoever. The other person could find it hard to get their head around how different one is.

Two Options

What this is likely to show is that one has the inclination to see life as being either black or white. Another person is going to be completely perfect, or they will be completely flawed; there will be no middle ground.

This is a very childlike way of seeing things, and it can show that one’s emotional brain is not working with their thinking brain. The emotional part of them will have taken over and this is going to stop them from being able to think clearly.

A Deeper Look

In addition to this, there is a strong chance that one feels worthless, and this is then why they put people on a pedestal. Therefore, the reason they see certain people as being above them or below them, is because this is how they see themselves.

At one moment, one could feel less-than others and, at another, they could feel more-than others. Their outer life is then just as unstable as their inner life; what is taking place externally is mirroring what is taking place internally.

Early Years

What this could show is that one’s younger years were a time when they were abused and/or neglected. This would have caused them to believe that they are inherently worthless.

When one puts another person on a pedestal, it allows them to rise up, and this will take place through identifying with the person who they have projected their undeveloped parts onto. And then when they see that the other person is not perfect, it will remind them of the parts of themselves that they have been avoiding.

Awareness

The ideal will be for one to realise what is taking place and then to heal themselves. Once this takes place, they will be able to accept the fact that everyone has a combination of good and bad traits.

Yet, if they don’t change what is taking place within them, they will continue to play out the same dramas. The people in their life will be cast aside when they no longer match up with the perfect image that one has created.

The assistance of a therapist or a healer may be needed here. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk