If someone had just bought a car, there is a strong chance that they would have taken it for a test drive first. This would have given them the opportunity to find out what it is like and to see if it would be a good match for them.
Along with this, they would have most likely asked a number of questions about the car. After all, this was a big decision, so it is a good thing that they had done their research and not just gone for any car.
A Different Approach
However, while someone might be judicious when it comes to what car they buy, this might not be the case when it comes to who they start a relationship with. Therefore, even though this is an important area of their life, they might act as though it isn’t.
If they behaved this way when it came to buying a car, they could end up buying a car that is dangerous or only looks good from the outside. Either way, they will have ended up making a bad decision.
The Main Thing
What someone like this could find is that as long as another person looks good, it is enough for them to take things further. The effect that this person’s appearance has on them is then going to put them into an altered state of consciousness, with this state taking away their ability to think clearly.
The Hallo Effect
Thanks to the other person’s appearance, one will see them through rose coloured glasses. If they were to express what is taking place within them it might sound like this, ‘they look good, so every other part of them must also be good'.
One is then not going to be taking a drug that interferes with their ability to think rationally, but it will be as though they are. One will have put the other person on a pedestal, which is likely to mean that they will have a long way to fall.
As times goes by, it could become clear that the idea that they had of the other person earlier on had very little basis in reality. At one moment in time they would have been in heaven, but at another, they will be in hell.
If something like this happened once it would be enough, but when this happens on a regular basis, it is going to cause someone to experience a lot of pain. It wouldn’t be accurate, though, to say that this is always what takes place when someone continually ends up with the wrong person.
Conversely, one could find that they have the tendency to be drawn to people who come across as strong and capable. In the beginning they will feel as though they are with someone who will treat them well, only to find that this person ends up becoming really controlling.
When this happens, the other person will have appeared to have possessed all the right traits in the beginning, yet ended up becoming someone else as time went by. Due to the amount of people they have been with who were like this, they may wonder if they have a sign on their head that says, ‘controlling people only’.
The Common Denominator
Although someone who ends up with the wrong person all the time could find it hard to see any positives in all this, the good thing is that they will be the person who keeps showing up. What this then means is that in order them for attract soemome who is different, they will need to change.
The area that will most likely need to be changed is their inner world; changing their appearance in some way, for instance, is unlikely to be the answer. In the same way that changing a cars appearance is unlikely make it run better, changing their appearance is unlikely resolve what is taking place, either.
If someone is not willing to look at what is taking place within them, and the affect that this is having on this area of their life, they could ask their friends to help them out. So, when one meets someone who they think is a good match, they could ask one of their friends to come and spend some time with them on different occasions.
The trouble with this approach is that their other person can put on an act at the beginning, and, ones friend might not be a good judge of character. On the other hand, if one starts to resolve the wounds that are within them, it will be easier for them to see other people for who they are as opposed to projecting so much onto them.
In addition to this, they will gradually lose the attraction that they have to people who are not good for them. A number of the wounds that they will need to deal with can be the result of what happened whilst they were a child.
What took place during their birth, in the womb, and what was passed down ancestrally, can also play a part in the type of person that they are attracted to as an adult. Dealing with this baggage won’t happen overnight, but it will happen as long as they are patient and persistent.
If one wants to change this area of their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer, for instance.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.