Relationships: What Does It Mean When Someone Says They Are Too Busy?

Just because someone is available at one point in time, it doesn’t mean that they will continue to be available. There is the chance that they will continue to be around or everything could change, and they may be extremely hard to get hold of.

However, without even going into how much someone can change, it is to be expected that they will not always have the same amount of time available to see other people. But, if someone is available one minute and then unavailable the next, it is naturally going to make one wonder what is going on.

Confusion

For example, if this is a relationship that is going really well and then of all of a sudden, the other person says they are too busy, one might end fearing the worst. And based on how they have been getting on so far, it might come as a shock when the other person says they are too busy.

If this is a relationship that is not going well, then one might come to the conclusion that the other person doesn’t want to see them anymore. This conclusion would be normal; especially if the relationship is no longer working or if there is some kind of conflict taking place.

Relationships

Although this is going to be something that has an impact on ones intimate relationships or with the people who one is just sharing physical experiences with, it can also apply friends and even family. But when it relates to an intimate relationship, one is typically more attached to the other person and therefore their expectations are different.

So when the other person’s behaviour changes, one is likely read into it more. If it was a friend or a family member, it may simply be accepted and one may not even question it.  This is also because their friends and family are going to fulfil different wants and needs.

The Bigger picture

But whether it relates to an intimate relationship, a more casual set up or to friends or family; it is going to be important to look at the relationship in general. To form an opinion based on one thing that has happened is not always the best approach.

In today’s world, people are busier than ever before and so there is always the chance that someone is busy and that it doesn’t mean anything. It then wouldn’t matter who the other person was, as they would still be busy.

What this means is that one will have to look at the bigger picture and to reflect on what has been happening between them.  They might begin to see a pattern emerge or they might just end up seeing things that are not there; so it will be important to keep an open mind and not to rush to any conclusions.

Unavailable

But if someone is available one minute and then they soon become unavailable and there doesn’t seem to be a legitimate reason for this change in behaviour, then it might be a sign that something has changed.

In life, people usually find time for what matters. So if someone is too busy it could mean that their interests have changed and that one is not as important to them as they once were.

Behind The Word

On one side then, it could be the truth and on the other side, it could be nothing more than a cover up. Using the word ’busy’ allows them hide what is actually going on and this could do more harm than good.

They might believe that if they tell the truth, it might upset the other person. But the longer they keep the other person around, the more harm they are going to cause them. Or maybe they are in two minds and don’t know whether to keep one around or to let them go.  

A Pattern

If one has a pattern of attracting people who are always busy, then it might be a sign that they have some inner work to do. And even if this only happens every now and then but causes one to have a strong emotional reaction, even when the other person is not making any excuses, it is going to mean that they also need to look within.

When someone hears this it could cause them to feel: abandoned, rejected, powerless, hopeless and worthless. This is going to mean that one is used to not having their wants and needs met by others.

Childhood

One may have had a childhood where their caregivers were often unavailable and unable to meet their wants and needs on a consistent basis. So what is taking place in their adult years can then feel normal.

And even though this would have created a lot of pain, it would have been associated as familiar and therefore safe by their ego mind. This is the reason why one has continued to re-create the same experiences in their adult life.

If one doesn’t feel safe with something at a deeper level, it is not going to be possible for them to attract it into their life. What feels safe is what is familiar and not what is healthy or functional.

Awareness

The emotional pain of these earlier years will have stayed trapped in one’s body and will need to be released. And as this happens, one will no longer re-create the same experiences. This can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. 

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Oliver J R Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/