What might not surprise someone is that some men hate women, yet what might surprise them is that there are some men who hate men. It might be hard for them to accept this, especially as they are men themselves.
A Different Response
Then again, this might be something that they are only too aware of, meaning that it is not going to be hard for them to accept this. If man does hate women, he is likely to receive a lot negative feedback from others.
Yet, if a man hates men, he is likely to receive a fair amount of positive feedback from people. The reason for this is that it is not uncommon for men to be portrayed in a negative manner, making it acceptable to put them down.
The Oppressed Gender
Women, on the other hand, are often seen as being victims, and this is why they deserve to receive special treatment. But even though they are often portrayed as victims, they are also seen as being ‘empowered’.
The average person is likely to find this confusing, with it being hard for them to understand how women can be empowered and victims. In reality they are either going to be victims or they will be empowered human beings, they can’t be both.
Only Too Clear
If a woman is truly in touch with her own inner strength, it is highly unlikely that she would see other women or herself as a victim. So, even if there are moments when she is victimised, she won’t allow this to define how she sees herself.
And through being this way, she is also likely to see that there are going to be moments when men are victimised, too. It is then not as if men have it easy and women suffer; they will see that life is not this black and white.
When a woman has this outlook, it could be said that she is self-aware and that she has the ability to reflect. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for a lot of the women who are given a platform in today’s world.
If the world is to change for the better, what is needed is for people to take responsibility for their own life and not to blame others. It is easy to blame men for all the problems in the world, but what does this do apart from create even more division?
With that aside, if a man does hate women he is unlikely to be a ‘feminist’; whereas if a man hates men, there is the chance that he will be. Nevertheless, if man does become a feminist, it doesn’t mean that he will be accepted by this movement.
There are going to be a number of women who say that he is no better than any other man. He could then feel as though he doesn’t belong, which could cause him to experience a lot of pain.
When it comes to the man who hates woman, it could be said that this shows that he has had a number of bad experiences with them. But when a man hates other men, it can be harder to come up with a reason as to why he would feel this way.
After all, he is man himself. One way of looking at this would be to say that he has been treated badly by other men throughout his life, and this is what set him up to hate men.
If a man hates women, he could come across as stoic and confident; he could be popular and certain people could even describe his as an ‘alpha man’. And even though he doesn’t like women, it doesn’t mean that they won’t be attracted to him.
But if a man hates men, he could come across as emotional and be anything but confident. He could be described as a nice guy and find it incredibly difficult to attract women.
When it comes to how these two men behave in their adult life, there the chance that their childhood years had a big effect. Regardless of whether a man hates women or hates men, they may have grown up without a father, or a father who wasn’t emotionally available.
In addition to this, they may have had a mother who was emotionally unavailable and smothering at the same time. Naturally, this would have had a negative effect on their ability to develop into an autonomous human being.
These early years probably would have caused them to experience shame and it wouldn’t have been possible for them to develop strong boundaries. Furthermore, their father wouldn’t have been around to affirm their value or to guide them.
The man who hates women will have disconnected from this shame and their emotions in general, and he would have directed his anger towards his mother and, as time passed, this would have ended up being directed towards all women. If he was to get in touch with his feelings, he may find that the also hates his father, and the reason why this hasn’t taken place can be because he fears his father.
The Other Side
When it comes to the man who hates other men, he will have stayed connected to this shame and directed his anger towards his father. And as the years passed, this anger would end up being directed towards all men.
Due to the experience he had with his mother as a child, he is likely to be fearful of her, and this is why he can’t face up to the fact that he also hates his mother. One man has the need to protect their father, while the other has the need to protect their mother.
What this emphasises is how important both the mother and father is when it comes to childhood development. When one parent is missing, it can lead to all kinds of problems, problems that can take years to deal with when someone is adult - that’s if they are even dealt with.
If man can relate to this, and he wants to let go of the pain that is within him, it might be a good idea for him to reach out for external support. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Teacher, Author, Transformational Writer & Coach - With Over 1,712,000 Article Views Online.
I also offer coaching via Skype and email. To find out more, click here.
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A Dialogue With The Heart - Part Two
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