Relationships: When Someone Tells Other People How To Live Their Life Does It Show That They Lack Empathy?
When one spends time with the people they are close to, they may find that they are happy to listen to them. This is likely to show that they are there to support them, and their life is then going to be a lot easier than it would be otherwise.
The Perfect Scenario
Through being treated in this way, one will see that they value what they have to say, and this is likely to mean that they value them as a person. Still, there is a strong chance that one will also behave in the same way.
The relationships in their life are going to be based on give and take, meaning that they are in balance. So, if one was to talk about what they are doing or what they would like to do, there will be no reason for them to feel uncomfortable.
But if they do feel uncomfortable, it could be a sign that something within them is causing them to feel this way. Perhaps something from their past has been triggered, and this is then what stops them from being able to embrace the present moment.
The problem is that if one is not aware of why this is, they could end up projecting their past onto the present. Or, one might just lose their centre, which might make it difficult for them to express themselves.
Nevertheless, if they were take a step back and to reflect on what is taking place, they might soon realise what is going on. The person they are talking to might tell them that what they are going through is fine.
And as this external support and understanding is there, one could find that is a lot easier return to the present. There are also going to be the moments when this doesn’t take place, where one has no problem expressing themselves.
A New Direction
For example, one may want to change their career or they might just want to try a new hobby, and they will tell the people in their life about this. One of their friends could say that this is a god idea, and that they should go for it.
In addition to this, they might ask them why it is that they want to go in this direction. This will show that they are curious about why they want to change their life, and not that they want to interrogate them.
If one of their friends was to come across something that think they would be good at or enjoy, for instance, they could mention it to them. It could be presented as just an idea as opposed to something that they should do.
What this will show is that this person has no interest in telling one how they should live their life. This could show that they have a clear idea of where they begin and end, and where other people begin and end.
As a result of this, they will be able to see that one has their own needs and feelings, and this is why they treat like an individual. This will stop them from seeing others as an extension of themselves.
It is then going to be normal for them to put themselves into other people’s shoes, so to speak, and to be able to pay attention to what matters to them. This will enable other people to feel both validated and respected in their presence.
However, while this is how some people will behave, there are going to be others who have a different approach. They will spend a lot of time telling other people what they should do and how they should live their life.
As far as they are concerned, they are going to be the only ones who know what is best for others. Therefore, no matter how intelligent someone is, they are not going to be as bright as they are.
The people in their life could end up keeping a lot to themselves in order to avoid being treated in this way, but that doesn’t mean this will have much of an effect. One could see what one of their friends is doing and start talking about how they should be doing something else.
Through spending time around them, someone could end up doubting themselves, and they could even lose touch with their true needs and feelings. If someone was to speak out about what is taking place, one could say that they ‘are just trying to help’ or that they ‘are only doing it because they care about them’.
A Lack of Empathy
It will be perfectly clear that one is unable to see that other people are not an extension of them. Consequently, they are not going to be aware of the fact that other people have their now needs and feelings.
Thus, while they can offer their suggestions, it is not up to them to decide what another people does or doesn’t do with their life. It is as though one is imagining what they would do if they were someone else, and this is why they are unable to think about their needs and feelings.
One is going to walk over other people, and the people in their life could feel as though they are invisible. Some people will end up cutting their ties with them, whilst others will put up with their behaviour.
If someone does put up with their behaviour, it can be a sign that they don’t value themselves. How they are being treated externally is then no different to how they are treating themselves internally.
When one walks over others they will need to develop boundaries, among other things, and if one is walked over by others it will be essential for them to do the same thing. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.