When it comes to attracting someone for a relationship or something that involves less commitment, there is the chance that someone can have a certain type that they go for. And then for others, this is not always the case; with them having no set idea of what another needs to be like.
However, although one person can say that they have a certain type and another person can say the complete opposite, it doesn’t mean that one person attracts people who are similar to each other and the other person doesn’t.
There can be similarities in both cases; with one person being aware of them and the other person being oblivious to them. And this is because the kind of person that is one attracted to can be the result of what is going on for them at a deeper level.
Their conscious mind can be unaware of what is going on here and yet this part of them can end up defining who they continually end up with. So based on this, each person has a certain type, it’s just a matter of if they are aware of it or not.
While one person can be aware of what they go for and another may not, it doesn’t mean they this gives someone a greater chance of attracting someone who is right for them. One person could describe what they are looking for and upon meeting them, they soon realise that they are not compatible
And this might not be a one off; it could happen on numerous occasions. Whereas, when someone doesn’t know what they are looking for, there could be the chance that they will attract people who are right for them, but there is also a chance that they won’t. The people they meet can end up being a complete mismatch.
There are always exceptions in life and one exception can be when one goes on what are often described as a random or blind date with someone. They are not sure who they are going to meet and the person they do meet could be unlike anyone they have ever been with before.
And as through what happens on the date and/or as time passes, they soon realise that this person is the ‘right’ one for them. So even though there could resistance, they go along with it anyway and could end up having a long and fulfilling relationship.
So as these kinds of experiences are uncommon and not the way that people usually end up with someone, it is going to mean that having a certain type is important. As if one doesn’t know what they want, then how will they find it or know when they have found it.
This is can include: what someone looks like, their personality, what their values are and what they outlook is towards certain things. There will be other things and this is to be expected, as we are all different.
And while one could have a certain type that never seems to change, it could also alter. As one grows older for instance, their priorities may change and how some feels can also influence who they go for.
How Is It Formed?
The type that someone has is unlikely to have just appeared in their mind, and come out of nowhere, it will be the result of different factors. One of the biggest factors will be the society that one has grown up in. what is defined as valuable and what the economic climate is like, will play a big part.
From here, will be the kind of experiences one had as a child. And this is going to include: what their caregivers were like, how nurturing their childhood was and what the people around them valued. Each of these elements will play a part in what one has come to believe is there ideal partner.
So although one has been conditioned from the moment they were born by their parents, the media and by the people they have spent their time with, there is the chance that one is still in touch with their real needs, wants and values.
And if this is the case, who they say they want is going to be in alignment with their true self. However, there is also the chance that the person they believe they want doesn’t actually reflect what they truly want and is just the result of their conditioning.
They could then end up with someone who is their type and they feel as though something is missing; their mind is saying yes, but their body is saying no. When one feels that they should be attracted to a certain type of person, it is going to be hard for them to listen to themselves.
How one feels will often define how they behave and what they look for in others. So if a woman feels vulnerable or fearful for instance, she might end u being attracted to men who are big built. Based on how these feels, she forms the belief that bigger built men are her type and if they are not this size, then she is not interested.
However, they might only her type based on how she feels. And if she was to process these feelings, the need to be with a man like this could disappear. As a result of feeling more secure, she could begin to realise that this is not longer a priority. This could then be replaced by the need to be respected or heard for example.
This shows that feelings do not always reflect what is true for someone and may just be a sign that one has trapped emotions in their body that need to be released.
If one is in a position where the type of person they go for is not who they truly want or they just feel that something is not right, then it will be important for them to engage in some kind of self inquiry.
So that they can get in touch with what they actually need and want when it comes to someone they want to be in a relationship with. This might mean that one needs the assistance of a therapist, healer or a coach, or to read up about relationships.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.