If a man was to find out that a woman is unable to handle life and needs other people to prop her up, he could soon come to the conclusion that it would be better for him to move on. It will be only too clear that being with a woman like this is going to be more trouble than it’s worth.
Now, this is not to say that they won’t find her attractive, for instance, as they might be drawn to her appearance. What it means is that this is not going to be enough for them to do something that they will later regret.
The man could take their mind into the future and think about what their life would be like in a little while. This is then going to be enough for them to take step back and to pay attention to their mind, as opposed to their emotions and bodily sensations.
There may have been a time in their life when this wasn’t the case, thereby causing them to end up with the wrong women. Being drawn to women like this might have caused them to experience a lot of pain.
However, while these experiences would have taken a lot out of them, they also would have taught them a lot. He would then have been able to turn these ‘negative’ experiences into ‘positive’ experiences.
Give and Take
Since that time in his life, he is likely to have been with a least one woman who didn’t need to be saved. What this would have meant was that their relationship was about give and take, meaning one person wouldn’t have had to do all of the work.
And, as it wasn’t a one-sided relationship, it would have stopped them from feeling undermined. It would have been an area of their life that nourished them and made it easier for them to function at their best.
A Different Scenario
On the other hand, there are going to be plenty of men who are only interested in woman who can’t handle life. This is not to say that this is what will come out of their mouth; what it means is that these are the kinds of women who will press their buttons, so to speak.
In fact, it might not even occur to a man like this that not only are their women out there who are different, but that they themselves can be with a woman like this. So, if they were to come into contact with a woman who doesn’t need to be saved, they are not going to be interested.
Close, but not Too Close
A man like this could walk by these kinds of women in their day-to-day life, yet that could be as close as they will get. Consciously, they won’t know that these women are available, yet it could be said that another part of them will.
Nevertheless, while they will rarely come into contact with women who are like this, they will have no trouble coming into contact with women who aren’t. It can then seem as though they just happen to meet women who need to be rescued.
A Strong Attraction
When a man meets a woman like this and he is attracted to her, he could believe that it is due to what she looks like, along with her personality. This can sound accurate, but if this woman didn’t need to be rescued, he probably wouldn’t be attracted to her.
What this shows is that his mind will rationalise why he is drawn to her, which will stop him from having to take a deeper look into what is really going on. Said another way, what is taking place at a deeper level will be overlooked.
Nonetheless, if man has always been this way, he might not even realise that he is trying to rescue them. He could believe that this is just what relationships are like between a man and a woman.
The man is then going to be the person who sacrifices himself in order to make the other person’s life better. Along with this, he could believe that women are incapable of handling life without the help of a man.
The Other Side
Still, this is not to say that the man will always be happy with experiencing life in this way, as there are likely to be moments when this causes him to feel drained and burdened. He is going to be used to ignoring his needs and focusing on the woman’s needs, so this is to be expected.
Ultimately, he has needs and this is why being in a relationship that is out of balance is going to weaken him. If he didn’t have needs, it wouldn’t matter if he focused purely on a woman’s needs and ignored his own.
A Deeper Look
A man like this is going to give too much and the women that he attracts are not going to give enough, that’s if they give anything at all. The man is going to be more like a father and the woman is going to be more like a needy child.
What this is likely to illustrate is that the man feels ashamed of his own needs and, deep down, he might feel like a needy child. Through feeling ashamed of his own needs, he will have the need to come across as needless and strong, but this is just going to be an act.
In The Beginning
The reason he is experiencing life in this way is likely to be due to what happened when he was younger. This is likely to have been a time when his needs were ignored and he was expected to fulfil his caregiver’s needs, as well as the needs of his siblings.
He would then have come to believe that there was something inherently wrong with his own needs and he would have had to develop a false-self. On the outside, he would come across as strong and mature for his age, but underneath this mask would have been a deeply wounded child.
The years would then have passed, but this wounded child will still live within the man and define how he behaves. It is then going to be essential, that’s if he wants to change, for him to heal the wounded child that is within them.
This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.