There are going to be moments when someone feels happy and moments when they don’t, and while they may prefer to be happy all the time, this is not going to be possible. When it comes to the people someone spends their time around, they may also find it easier to be around them when they are happy.
However, just because they enjoy being around the people they are close to when they are happy, it doesn’t mean they will avoid them when they are not happy. If they were to behave in this way, it is likely to have a negative effect on their relationships.
There is a strong chance that they would end up being seen as self-centred, and while they might stay around, they might end up walking away. This is going to come down to the fact that they are not willing to give.
Their point of focus will be on themselves, and they are not going to care about how other people feel. Another way of looking at this would be to say that they are unable to empathise with others.
Give and Take
When someone has healthy relationships with others, they are going to be there when they are happy and when they are not experiencing life in this way. Through behaving in this way, it will show the other person that they actually care about them.
There is then no need for them to put on act and to deny how they feel; they can be themselves. They are accepted for who they are as opposed to being accepted for playing a role.
And as long as this is something that works both ways, their relationship will be in balance. This will then enable each person to get their needs met, and their wellbeing will be enhanced as a result.
However, if one was to spend most of their time around someone who was unable to be happy, it is likely to have a negative effect on them. This is not going to be the same as someone who has moments when their mood drops; it will be far more consistent.
There could be a number of reasons why someone would come across in this way, and while they may open up about what is taking place for them, they might not. If they are able to talk about what is going on, it might be easier for one to be around them.
But if they don’t open up and they won’t let one assist them, it might be better for them to take a step back and to limit the amount of time they spend around them. Once they have spent some time away from them, they may start to think about how moody they are.
This is not to say that it easy to put up with people who are moody from time to time, but it is not going to be as much of a challenge. Having said that, knowing someone who is moody from time to time can also cause problems; it can all depend on why they are moody.
It could be said that being moody from time to time is part of being human, and at the same time, it will be important for someone to talk about why they are moody. This is something that can occur as a result of what is taking place externally and what is taking place internally.
When someone opens up about why they are moody (or just acknowledges how they feel even if they don’t know why), it will be easier for someone to be around them. They can talk it through and there will be no need for ‘drama’ to arise.
However, if someone doesn’t open up about that is going on for them and they are not willing to acknowledge the effect their behaviour is having on others, it is going to cause problems. It then won’t matter if this is something that happens on a regular basis or every now and then.
An important part of being able to open up will be for someone to be aware of their emotions. If they are not aware of how they feel, it will be normal for them to come across as moody.
They will also need to feel as though it is safe for them to express how they feel; if they don’t, they will have a greater need to hide how they really feel. Being moody can be seen as a way for someone to indirectly fulfil their emotional needs.
Walking On Egg Shells
The people around them can find themselves doing everything they can to please them, and this is because they can end up walking on eggshells. Through being moody, one may be able to take control of their environment
It then might not matter if they are around people who have played a part in why they are this way; as they are not going to take responsibility for their behaviour. The people who are around them when they are moody may start to feel guilty and then end up trying to appease them as a way to feel better.
At one point in their life (and this may have been during their childhood years), it might not have been possible for them to express their feelings, and they may have learned that being moody was the only way for them to be heard. During this time, the people around them would have generally given them the kind of responses they wanted.
And while time has passed, they have continued to behave in the same way. The reason the people around them put up with it could be because they were around people who were moody during their early years.
As a result of this, they have been trained to tolerate this behaviour, and this is why they put up with it. If someone is in a position where they find it hard to open up when they are moody and they use this behaviour to control others, it will be important for them to develop a healthy relationship with their emotions.
Through connecting to how they feel and feeling that it is safe for them to open up, their behaviour will start to change. And during those moments when they have a reason to be moody, they won’t need to make the people around them suffer unnecessarily.
This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Teacher, Author, Transformational Writer & Coach - With Over 1,712,000 Article Views Online.
I also offer coaching via Skype and email. To find out more, click here.
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A Dialogue With The Heart - Part Two
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