As men are often physically stronger than women, it often makes it hard to comprehend that they could be fearful of women. This is something that can sound illogical and abnormal. When some people hear this, it can sound like some kind of joke.
But while this may sound illogical and even laughable, for men who have this fear, it is a very real experience and not a laughing matter. The idea that comes to mind of a man that fears women, could be one that looks weak or feeble for example.
And yet, this can relate to a man that is also psychically well developed. Appearances are irrelevant here and they do not define whether a man will fear women or not.
There are then going to be numerous challenges that will appear in one’s life due to having this fear. The primary one is probably going to relate to the area of intimacy and in attracting the kind of woman or women that one wants.
However, this can also lead to difficulties in ones career and when it comes to connecting to colleagues and mangers that are female. The desire to have friends who are female may be there, but this may not be possible through having this fear.
Although this can be known through numerous styles of behaviour, there is likely to be certain patterns that one will experience. And no matter what these are, the consequences are going to be the same: a man’s needs and wants will be denied.
So these could relate to behaviours that are extreme to behaviours that are more subtle in nature. And some of these are: a man could avoid women during certain situations or try to avoid them altogether; act: submissive, shy, and overly polite or go quiet around them.
While behaviour is one way that this fear shows itself, what is going in the body is what usually precedes the behaviour. This can be a combination of: feelings, emotions and sensations. For a man that fears women, it is going to be fairly certain that anxiety is something they are all too familiar with.
During an experience with a woman, ones whole body could be consumed with a myriad of emotions and feelings; along with different sensations that appear and lead to tightness and unease in different parts of the body.
There are common reasons as to why a man would fear women and these are often taken from evolutionary psychology or some area of science. Here, it is often said that this fear is hard wired and part of a man’s nature for instance. Or they may be some kind of historical explanation.
And although this may sound right and even legitimate, especially if it’s come from the world of science, it rarely leads to solutions. So some kind of validation is attained, but not much else.
The Story Maker
When it comes to understanding why things happen and what causes them, the mind sees itself as the expert. And whatever the mind comes up with is usually what is labelled as the truth, when it comes to what causes things to happen.
The mind does this through interpreting what is sees and these interpretations are created through the mind drawing on what is knows. This can be a combination of past experiences, intellectual knowledge and assumptions for instance.
But while the mind is the observer of life and forms answers through interpretation, the body is what experiences life in real time and contains the real answers as to why something happens.
As feelings can often be painful and overwhelming, it can lead to one rejecting their body and living in their head. And then one can come to see the head as having the answers and not the body.
These can be painful feelings that were formed in the very beginning of ones life. However, though living in one’s head and ignoring the body, the real answers become ignored and overlooked. So the kind of history that had and the real origins of these feelings then becomes a mystery.
One of the biggest factors in defining whether a man will feel comfortable or uncomfortable with women will depend on what their early relationship was like with their mother. How they responded to a man’s needs, wants and desires as a child will be incredibly important.
And this will largely be a result of what her emotional state was like. If she was empathic and emotionally available, these needs would generally be met and the mother would be stable in most cases.
But if the mother was emotionally unavailable and unempathic, then these needs, wants and desires would generally go unmet. And this also means that the mother could be unstable. If this is the case, the mother may have had moments of being mildly to extremely emotionally, verbally or physically abusive.
So in the case of the mother that was emotionally unstable, it would have lead to all kinds of unpleasant emotions being created. In some cases, this kind of mother would be labelled as having a borderline personality.
For if one had a mother like this, then to feel fear would be normal. What was going to happen next would be unknown and therefore anxiety would also be normal. While one may have felt: fear, anxiety, rejection, panic and that it was unsafe amongst other emotions. If the mother was emotionally unaware, then these emotions would have had to have been pushed out of one’s awareness as a child.
This would have been essential when it came to their survival. As although this mother was unstable and even intimidating, she was also imperative to ones existence.
The Forgotten Past
Years can then go by and one will have gone form a child to a man. But while one has physically changed, it doesn’t mean that one has emotionally changed. Due to these feelings being pushed down during those early moments, they then became trapped and frozen in the body.
This means that they will want to come out and be released. The body wants to release them, but the mind can get in the way of this process and will use all kinds of defence mechanisms. So whenever one comes across a woman, these repressed feelings and emotions will appear once more. As other women are simply triggering what exists within.
To hear that a man is fearful of women can sound illogical, but if a man had an early upbringing like this, then it is completely logical. It is more a case of how else could they feel around women.
These feelings and emotions that have built up will need to be released. And this can be done through a healer or a therapist that will allow one to face and release their emotional history.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.