Relationships: Why Do Some Men Hate Women?

The title of this article may sound a bit extreme and yet when it comes to male and female interactions, there is not always peace, harmony or respect. Throughout time, women have been murdered, manipulated and abused by men.

And although the rights of women have gradually improved in certain societies, this hate still exists. It may appear in ways that are easy to spot, but it can also be seen in ways that are subtle and harder to notice.

A Closer Look

Of course some women can hate men and have been the perpetrators. However, this article is about taking a deeper look at what some of the reason as, as to why some men hate women. It is not about blaming or putting one gender above another; it is simply to try and shed some light on this occurrence.

The Modern Day

So while times have changed and women have gradually become more accepted and appreciated in the western world; this hate still exists. And this can be expressed in numerous ways.

There is the ways in which this happens at a personal level and how it happens at a social level; because although this hate exists, it is unlikely to be shown in a direct way. A man could say I hate women to themselves or to the people that they know, but this is rarely how it is recognised.

Repression

Like anything that is socially deemed as inappropriate or wrong, this hate is often repressed in a man and then ends up controlling their thoughts, emotions, sensations, behaviour and the ideas that they project onto women.

It can then become something that a man is not even aware of. How they treat a woman or how they perceive a woman, then becomes normal and habitual. And the reasons as to why they really hate them, is then a mystery.

Reaction Formation

But just because a man hates women, it doesn’t mean that this will lead to the expression of hate. One of the things the ego mind does, as a way to avoid feeling something that is classed as inappropriate either internally or externally, is to go to the other extreme.

What will then happen is a man can become overly nice to women and end up worshipping them for instance. And this can then lead to men being taken advantage off or controlled by women.

Examples

Different examples of hate will be revealed, depending on where the focus is pointed. One example of this hate is in the porn industry and how the women are often treated. They are generally presented as objects and are physically violated.

Relationships

Relationships are obviously another area where this hate will show up. It could be assumed that when a man hates women; they would be single and do all that they could to avoid them. A kind of love hate relationship can be created; where they feel this hate on one side and a need for them on the other.

But while some men may just go from one woman to the other, some men can end up in a relationship with one. The woman is then used as a way for the men to regulate the hate that they feel. Through having a woman there, it allows the man to release the feelings that they have.  But this will also be a short term solution and will not deal with them at a deeper level.

Perspective

What this can also influence is the general outlook that men can have towards women. So this could lead to men feeling as though they are above them in some way and as being more intelligent or superior to them.

Where Does It Come From?

Although a man can be physically stronger than a woman, at one point, they were a vulnerable, needy, dependent and powerless child. And this child was, in most cases, brought up by a woman. It is likely that this woman had complete power. Now, some mothers abuse this power and some don’t.

One of the most important factors here is how the mother responds to the Childs needs. There will be some mothers who are empathic and generally take care of the Childs needs on one side of the spectrum and on the other there will be mothers who are unempathic and ignore most of these needs. And then there are the types of mothers that are fairly inconsistent in responding to the Childs needs.

If they are not responded to enough or ignored completely; it is likely to lead to problems. Here the child can feel angry, powerless, hopeless and even suicidal.

What Happens Next?

In an ideal world, the child would have its needs met. And when this doesn’t happen, there would be the right support available shortly after this had taken place; in the form of a therapist of healer. However, as the above rarely happens, other consequences take place.

These feelings, emotion and sensations that the child felt, through not having its needs met sufficiently, will have to be repressed and denied in order to survive. Although the child may feel powerless, hopeless and even hate towards the mother, this same person is crucial to the Childs survival. This lead to an internal split being formed.

So years will then pass, but the original pain and trauma still exists in the body. And as the body is constantly looking to release the emotions that have been stored and frozen inside; it will need an outlet and people to project onto.

Indirect Revenge

At first the child may have felt anger, but overtime this anger changed and become hate and even resentment. And due to the time that has passed, it will often lead to a disconnection. So the hate that one feels towards certain women or all women today will not be seen as an extension of the hate that one felt towards one’s mother many years ago.

If one is carrying this pain within them, it will inevitably lead to present day challenges with women and yet the real pain was created many, many years ago.

Awareness

The ego mind will hold onto these memories and associations. And not because they are the truth, but due to them being familiar and familiar means safe to the mind. For as long as these exist in the body, it will be extremely difficult to experience reality differently.

The perceptions that one has, the situations and women that one comes into contact with, will all be influenced by what is going on within oneself. And if they don’t match, then the ego mind will interpret life, so that they do fit these perceptions.

In order to let go of the past, it may be necessary to seek external help and this can be from a therapist or a healer. The past is the past and yet if the pain has never been looked at, it will still be there.

This pain that one experienced as a result of not getting their needs met as a child needs to be grieved, so that one can truly let go of the past.

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Oliver J R Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/