When someone thinks about abuse, there is a strong chance that they will think about what some men do to women or how some parents treat their children. But if this is not the case, they might think about men who are abused by women.
The reason they are more likely to think about this kind of abuse is because these are things that receive a fair amount of exposure. Along with this, women are often seen as the weaker sex and children are dependent on their parents.
A Common Outlook
On the other hand, men are often seen as people who are incapable of being harmed by the opposite sex. This partly comes down to the fact that they are generally physically stronger than women.
Based on this, there is going to be no reason for someone to believe that men can be abused by women. It would be similar to saying that parents can be abused by their small children.
What could add to this is if a woman has been abused by a man or if they know a woman who has been. This can cause them to believe that men are the only ones who are capable of being violent and manipulative.
They will know what it is like and their view can then be seen as the truth, and it then won’t matter what else takes place. If this was to occur, it could be said that their emotions and beliefs are getting the better of them and it is then not possible for them to think clearly or to embrace new information.
A Closed Mind
One could then come across information goes against what they believe and they could block it out. Alternatively, a man could talk about how men are often abused by women and he could end up being criticised and/or ignored.
And this is also something that could take place if another woman was to talk to them about it. Yet while a woman can act in this way, it doesn’t mean that men will always have the opposite outlook.
A man could say that there is no way that women could abuse them or any other man for that matter. They could say that the only way this would happen to a man is if they are ‘weak’.
Thus, it will be important for a man to ‘man up’ if they were to find themselves in this position. One way of looking at this would be to say that they are likely to be someone who believes that men should act one way and women should act another way.
The only way for a man to be a man will be for him to be strong at all times and to to hide how he feels. Through having this perspective, they may also say that women are the emotional ones.
Crying is then not something that both sexes can engage in, and if a man does cry he can be seen as being less of a man. What this could then mean that t
his is man who doesn’t have a healthy relationship with his emotions and that he is caught up in the past.
However, no matter what women or men think, there are men who have experienced abuse and men who are experiencing it right now. The idea that many people often have of men makes it harder for them to get the assistance that they need.
A lot has been done to change how women are seen and treated in the western world, and this has meant that the challenges that men face have often ended up being pushed to one side. Therefore, while certain problems have improved, other problems have been created in their place.
Still, it could be said that this is normal part of life and that as time passes; this is something that should gradually balance out. And when it comes to the abuse that some men experience, it can be physical, verbal, sexual and/or emotional.
A man can then be hit but as it is coming from a woman, he is unlikely to fight back. Yet he can also be gradually worn down through being put down on a consistent basis, and this can also take place when he is around his friends and family, for instance.
This can then end up changing how he sees himself, and the strength that he needs to do something about what is taking place will end up disappearing. What this will then do is make it easier for a woman to control him.
Even so, this doesn’t mean that other people will realise what he is going through, and this is because he could keep it to himself. What other people could notice is that he is not like he used to be, as he could be depressed and/or no longer want to spend time with them.
How they feel about what is happening is then building up within them and this is causing them to suffer. The trouble is that not only can they feel ashamed as a result of being abused; they can also feel too ashamed to let other people know what is taking place.
If they were to open up, they could end up being laughed at and/or not taken seriously and it could then cause them to feel even worse. Their image is then going to be effected and it will be another area where they are humiliated.
The support that they desperately need is then not going to be provided and they will feel as though they are by themselves. Fortunately, it is a lot easier than it was before to receive the right support, and this is largely down to the internet.
If one is with someone who is abusive, it imperative that they reach out for support and don’t allow themselves to suffer in silence. There are websites and helplines that provide assistance, and there are also therapists and councillors available who are trained in these matters.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.