If someone was to talk to a number of people about what their relationships are like, they are likely to hear about a wide range of experiences. While some of these people could be in a relationship, there are bound to be others who are not.
So depending on what their current situation is, they could either ask them about how their relationship is going or they could ask them about what their past relationship was like. And once again; the feedback that they receive is likely to vary from person to person.
When it comes to the people who are in a relationship, they could hear that their relationship is going very well. They may have been with the other person for a matter of weeks, months, or even years.
For the person who is not currently with someone, they could say that there last relationship went well, but that they grew apart, for instance. Or they could say that they had to move someone else or that their former partner had to change their location for whatever reason.
Along with this, they may also hear some people say that their relationship is neither good nor bad. And once again, they could be in the early stages or they may have been with them for quiet some time.
There could be others who are currently single and they could end up saying the same thing. They might have had the odd moment where they enjoyed being with them, but it won’t be as if they were with their ‘soul mate’, so to speak.
During this time, they could also come cross people who are in a relationship that is not very fulfilling. And although they might not have been with them for very long, there is also the chance that they have been with them for while.
If someone was in this position before, they are likely to be only too happy to be single again. In this case, they might find it hard to remember a time where they enjoyed being with the other person.
The Next Step
When someone is in a fulfilling relationship, they might not feel the need to say anything bad about their current partner, and the same could be said for someone who used to be in a fulfilling relationship. If they do, it could be fairly light-hearted, or it could relate to them not wanting the relationship to end, for instance.
Whereas if they are in a relationship that is neither good nor bad, they could be a greater chance of them saying something bad. Then again, they could feel so disconnected from the other person that they don’t have anything bad to say about them, and the same could be said for someone who was in a relationship like this.
A Different Outcome
However, when it comes to the person who is in a relationship that is far from fulfilling, they could have plenty of bad things to say about their partner. And if they were with someone like this, it might not take long before they start to remember all the bad things that the other person used to do.
It could then be said that it will be important for them to take the steps that they need to take to change their relationship. And if one was in this position, they will need to make sure that they don’t end up in the same situation all over again.
In order for one to change what is taking place, they will need to take responsibility for the part that they are playing. If they were to simply blame the person they are with or the people they have been with, it is highly unlikely that their life will change.
Yet although this will be the ideal approach to take, it doesn’t mean that they will take this approach. Instead, one could say that the person that they are with is the problem, or that the people they were with were the problem.
The Opposite Gender
It could be normal for them to say that all men/women are the same and although this may allow them to feel better for a short while, it won’t allow them to change their life. The outlook that they have could also end up being supported by the friends and/or family, as well as by the society that they live in.
Along with this, they may also come across information online that validates what they believe, and this can then cause them to believe that they are right. Yet even though their reality may support what they believe, it doesn’t mean that it’s the truth.
It has been said that human beings see with their mind and not their eyes, and as a result of this, their reality is then a reflection of what is taking place within them. Therefore, if one believes that all men/or women are the same, that is what they will experience.
Their mind will stop them from seeing anything that goes against what they believe. So unless one is able to step back from what is taking place, they will continue to experience life in the same way, and all the time this takes place, they will continue to suffer unnecessarily.
When one realises this, they will see that the men/women that they attract into their life are simply a reflection of what is taking place within them, and this is then going to mean that they don’t represent every man/woman on the planet. They are likely to experience more pain than they usually would through looking at what is taking place within them, but this pain won’t last forever, and through letting go of what is within them, it will allow them to have a relationship that is fulfilling.
This can be a time where they will be looking into what they believe about the opposite sex and they may also have an emotional build-up to process. A lot of this ‘baggage’ could go back took what took place during their childhood years.
The assistance of a therapist and/or a support group may be needed here.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.