Relationships: Why Do Some People Always Give Unsolicited Advice?

If one wanted to learn about something, they could read a book or search the internet. Along with this, they could also end up signing up for some kind of course online or in the real world.

It could be said that this is something that will all depend on what it is that they want to learn and how committed they are to learning about it. For example, if one wanted to learn about the history of a sports team, they would be able to do this by going online.

Another Example

On the other hand, if one is in a position where they want to learn about computers, they might end up signing up for a course. This is not to say that they can’t do this through searching the internet; what it partly comes down to is that this will allow them to learn in a structured way.

Still, one might prefer to learn at their own pace and there may then no reason for them to take part in a course. This is likely to be a sign that one is not only driven, but that they have the ability to think for themselves.

Critical Thinking

As if one didn’t have the ability to question what they learn, it could cause them to go down the wrong path, so to speak. Thus, having this ability will allow them to filter out what is no good and to accept what is.

This doesn’t mean that they are perfect, or that they will always get everything right; what it means is that they won’t accept everything they come across. And as there is so much information out there, it is an important ability to possess.

A Course

However, even if one has the ability to think critically, they could still take part in a course. This will partly come down to the fact that they may want to work in a profession that requires certain qualifications.

Therefore, the only way for them to move forward with their life will be to go to college or university (or to take part in a course online, for instance). This can be the case if one wanted to become a nurse or a teacher.

Another Way to Learn

So while one can learn through the effort that they put in, they can also learn without putting any effort in. When this takes place, it can be something that happens when one is around other people.

For example, one could go out for a drink with a friend or a family member and they could talk about their own interests. Or they could simply talk about their job or what they are currently studying.
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Curious

If one is curious about the people and the world, they will be in a position where they are always learning. It then won’t matter what they hear about, as there is the chance that they will be only too happy to listen.

Yet one doesn’t need to be highly curious in order to learn about things when they are around others. Thus, even if they were to listen to some of the things they hear and too ignore others, they could still learn a lot.

Advice

However, while one can learn through listening to what other people have to say; they can also learn by asking people for advice. This can range from asking about something that is extremely important, to asking about something that is fairly trivial.

One could end up asking someone because they have an understanding of what they want to know about, or it could just be a sign that they trust them. In this case, one will be happy to hear their feedback.

The Other Side

Along with this, one could also receive advice without asking for it, and this means that they might not be happy to hear it. One could have a friend or a family member who is always giving out advice.

At the same time, this could also be something that they experience when they are work. If one had this experience on the odd occasion, they might be able to overlook has has taken place; but when it happens on a regular basis, it is likely to cause one to feel frustrated and even angry.

Unsolicited Advice

When someone has the tendency to behave in this way, it could be said that they believe that they always know what’s best. It’s as though they have a perspective that other people don’t have.

They have then elevated themselves to the position of a teacher, and everyone that they come across is one of their students. And through having this outlook, it is likely to have a positive effect on how they feel about themselves.

Incapable

So when someone else is going through a hard time or just doesn’t know what to do about something, it is likely to be taken as a sign that it’s because they are incapable. It will then be normal for them to give others advice that they haven’t asked for.

Now, if they saw other people as their fellow human beings and not as people that need to be saved or rescued, there would be no reason for them to behave in this way. What would also play a part in this is of they had boundaries, as this would allow them to respect other peoples personal space.

A Deeper Look

If one was to look at their behaviour, it would be easy to say that they are better than others, and this is because they always have the answers. Yet if one was to take a deeper look, they may find that this nothing more than a cover up.

There is the chance that they are the ones who feel incapable, and acting as though they are better than others allows them to avoid how they feel at a deeper level. Their identity they have formed is then nothing more than a false-self.

Toxic Shame

If they were to embrace their true feelings, they might end up feeling completely worthless, and this could mean that they are carrying toxic shame. Perhaps there was a time in their life where they were made to feel as though there was something inherently wrong with them.

During this time, they may have experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. But regardless of what took place, it would have been too painful for them to face what was taking place and this would then have caused them to disconnect from what was taking place within them.

Awareness

Although this would have allowed them to feel better about themselves, it would have also caused them to disconnect from their healthy shame. Without this, it won’t be possible for them to realise that they are not perfect, among other things.

If someone can relate to this and they want to get back in touch with their true-self, it might be necessary for them to reach out for external support; this can be provided by a therapist and/or a support group.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/