Relationships: Why Do Some People Come On Strong And Then Go Silent?

After one has met someone for the first time, they may find that they continue to show a lot of interest in them. And there is also the chance that they behaved in this way before they even met them.

Another Option

If this was the case, it is likely to show that they met them on an online dating site or an app. Therefore, even though they won’t have met each other at this stage, it would still have been possible for the other person to give them attention.

This could mean that they sent them a lot of messages and there may have been moments when they spoke to them over the phone. The other person may have asked them how they were doing each day and what they had been up to, for instance.

More of the Same

So, if this person does continue to behave in the same way, one could come to believe that they are attracted to them. Still, as time goes by, the amount of interest that they show could change.

Yet, if they have gradually transitioned from seeing each other to having a relationship, this is to be expected. This is unlikely to be something that will only apply one of them though, as both of them are likely to have changed.

Settled Down

At this stage, there will be no reason for either of them to impress the other person, and they will know far more about each other than they did in the beginning. The other person’s attention may have been consumed by this area of their life, and now it can be directed to other areas of their life.

However, this is not going to be the same as it would be if someone was to come on strong and ended up going silent. This would be going from one extreme to another, and it could show that something isn’t right.

Easy To Handle

When another person comes on strong and this gradually changes, it is not going to have much of an effect. After all, if the other person didn’t change their behaviour as time went by, it would cause them to neglect the rest of their life.  

And, if one expected to receive the same amount of attention throughout their relationship, they would soon end up disappointed. The other person would probably see them as someone who is needy, and this could end up pushing them away.

A Strong Need

What this could show is that one finds it hard to feel good about themselves, and this is then why they need so much attention. Therefore, when this is not forthcoming, it is going to be a challenge for them to function.

Through being this way, it is likely to be difficult for them to have a long-tem relationship. At the same time, this could cause them to look to other people for attention, meaning that they could have the tendency to cheat.

An insatiable Need

If one needs a lot of attention and they are physically attractive, it might be easier for them to find someone to shower them with attention. But this is likely to change when they start to lose their looks.

During their early years, they might not have received the kind of care that they need in order to develop. The wounded child within them is then going to be what is driving their behaviour.

Another Experience

On the other hand, one could come into contact with someone who acts extremely interested in them and, as time passes, they could end up going cold. This could be something that will happen after they have had sex for the first time.

One could send the other person a message or call them, but it will be as if they have left the planet. It is then going to be normal for one to wonder what has happened to them, and they might start to believe that they have done something wrong.

A Closer Look

Clearly, there are number of reasons as to why someone would behave in this way - it is not something that is black and white. Nevertheless, there is the chance that something has been triggered within this person.

At first, the fear of abandonment may have caused them to come on strong and, after they were able to go to the next level, this may have caused them to feel smothered. This person would have been overwhelmed by the feelings in their body and this would have stopped them from being able to behave in a conscious manner.

Give It Time

When the feeling of being smothered starts to settle down and the fear of being abandoned starts to appear up, they could end up getting back in touch. It might only be a matter of time before the same scenario plays out all over again.

The sooner one puts an end to this, the better their life will be. If they do don’t anything about this, it is going to take a lot out of them, and it will stop them from being able to meet someone who is available.
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Awareness

So if the other person is not ready to face the pain that is within them and to heal it, it will be in one’s best interest to walk away. And, if they are used to attracting people who behave in this way, it might be a good idea for them to see what is taking place within them.

What they may find is that they also have a fear of being smothered, which is why they attract people who are unavailable. The assistance of a therapist or a healer may be needed here.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk