While someone can be in a position where they always find people to criticise, this might only take place from time to time. When it comes to what they can relate to, it could all depend on what mood they are in.
As a result of this, the people around them might prefer to keep their distance if they are not in the right mood. At the same time, a number of the people in their life could be just as critical as they are.
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
Yet, if they these people have the tendency to respond to life in the same way, it is not going to be much of a surprise. What one person says is then generally going to validate what the rest of them say.
Still, even though they will have each other’s support, this support is not going to allow them to grow. This is something that would take place if they were to spend time with people who question them.
The Same Direction
However, if one doesn’t want to change, there is going to be no reason for them to spend time with these kinds of people. The people in their life will give them the feedback that they desire, and one will return the favour.
And as far as they are concerned, they might believe that there is nothing wrong with being critical. In their eyes, the alternative could be for them to simply accept what they see, and this is unlikely to be something that they are willing to do.
Growth and Development
Now, it is clear that people can only change something if they realise that it needs to be changed. Therefore, if one is not aware of something, it is not going to be possible for them to do anything about it.
Even so, there is more than one way for someone to realise that something isn’t right, and putting them down is rarely the best approach to take. As even though this could encourage someone to change, it could also end up having the opposite effect.
It could then be normal for them to annoy and upset others, and they could have a number of enemies. But even if someone doesn’t react negatively to what they say, it doesn’t mean that this is because they agree with what has been said.
What it could show is that they prefer to keep their views to themselves, and so when they are not around them, they might not have anything good to say about them. If this is case, it is not going to be any different to what they may say about them in their own mind.
If one has people around them, it might not bother them how people respond to what they say. What could also make a difference here is if one is in a position if power, as this could allow them to get away with things that other people can’t.
It is then not that they are critical of others, it is that they know what they are talking about, and this gives them the right to be this way. But this doesn’t mean that they won’t end up pushing a lot of people away, or that they always know best.
When one criticises someone, they can believe that they are simply observing their behaviour, and this gives them the opportunity to bring attention to what is not right or what needs to change. At times, this can be exactly what is taking place, but this is not always going to be what is going on.
There can be times when the reason one is criticising another is due to what it has triggered within them. Yet, when this happens, one is unlikely to be aware of what this is and this is why the other person’s behaviour is going to be seen as being the problem.
If one was to look at what is taking place within them and to deal with it, so to speak, they might no longer respond in the same way. What they used to criticise in another could then no longer have an effect on them.
However, when this doesn’t take place, what is taking place within them won’t change and it will be necessary for them to continue to behave in the same way. Through doing this, it will allow them to feel better for a short time.
A Number of Areas
There is the chance that one will have a number of things that they will attack other people for, and there could be some things that have a big effect on them. Perhaps one could judge people who put their needs first, and this could be a sign that they don’t feel comfortable with their own needs.
Another thing that could press their buttons is the people who receive attention in the public eye, and this could relate to the people in their own life. One could say that these people are nothing more than attention seekers.
It is then going to be irrelevant as to why these people are receiving attention, as they are all going to be viewed in the same light. And if someone they know goes go out of their way to receive attention from others, it can be normal for one to end up feeling irritated.
Nevertheless, this is not going to be the same as when one gets irritated even though someone is not an attention seeking. This could mean that someone receives attention due to what they look like or it could relate to the kind of career they have, for instance.
A Deeper Look
If one was to take a step back and to get in touch with what is taking place within them, they may find that they are jealous of these people. The way they respond to them is then a result of these people receiving the kind of attention that they themselves desire to have.
Criticising these people is then a way for them to avoid the pain that is within them, but this is unlikely to change their circumstances. These people could remind them of what took place during their early years; with this being a time when they were overlooked.
And even though they have the desire to receive attention, it doesn’t mean that they will feel comfortable doing so. Their desire to have it could then be in conflict with their need to avoid it.
Along with this, one might also be carrying unmet needs from their early years, and these might need to be grieved. The assistance of a therapist may be needed here.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.