Regardless of whether one is in a relationship or not, they may find that they don’t feel needy. What this can show is that one has a strong centre, and this is why they are able to function.
Therefore, if one is not in a relationship, they are not going to be in a position where they can’t focus on their life. Now, this is not to say that they won’t have the desire to be with someone; what it means is that this is not something that will consume them.
This can be the same as one having the need to go on holiday, but once again, it might not take over their life. Through being this way, it is going to be a lot easier for them to make the most of their time on this earth.
What this can also show is that one has a life that is worth living; with their being a number of areas in their life that bring them fulfilment. When it comes to their career, this could be something that they are committed to.
It is then something that truly matters, and this is going to be why it will have a positive effect to their life. In addition to this, one could have a number of close friends, and these people are going to have a big effect on them.
Yet, even if they are not working, it doesn’t mean that one will just sit around doing nothing. There could be a number of things that they like to do when they have free time.
During this time, they might like to engage in some kind of exercise and/or to spend time in nature. Along with this, they might like to develop their mind by reading books on different subjects.
If, on the other hand, one had just started seeing someone, they may find that they spend time thinking about the person in their life. Even so, this doesn’t mean that they won’t be able to behave as in the same way as they usually do.
One might notice that their mood has been elevated, but that might be as far as it will go. Ultimately, even though one area of their life has changed, they are still going to need to show up in other areas of their life.
If one allowed themselves to be fixated on the person they are with, it wouldn’t be possible for them to handle life. Their performance at work would suffer and, if they were with their friends/family, their attention would be somewhere else.
One would then see that even though they feel better through having this person in their life, it has had a negative effect on the rest of their life. It will be as if they have gained one thing, but lost a lot of other things.
Sense of Self
So through being able to show up in other areas of their life when they are in a relationship, it is going to allow them to be themselves when they are with their partner. This doesn’t mean that they will act in the same way as they did when they first met them, as they may have changed slightly; what it means is that they won’t have completely changed.
One will be in touch with who they are and there will be no reason for them to be someone else. Said another way, one will feel comfortable in their own skin and this will stop them from losing themselves.
And if one wants the relationship to last, it could be said that this will be the best way for them to behave. This comes down to the fact that this is who the other person was drawn to in the first place.
If they were to change, it would be the same as one buying a car that ends up changing into a bike. The reason one brought car is because they need one; if they needed a bike, they would have bought one.
Back To Reality
However, although there are going to be people who can maintain their sense of self when they are in a relationship, there are going to be others who are unable to do so. When this happens, it is not going to be possible for them to maintain their centre.
But even if they are not in a relationship, they could still find that they are unable to function. Or if they can function, they could find that as soon as they start getting close to someone, it’s as if they fall apart.
One can then come across in one way when they meet someone and after a little while, they can end up turning into someone else. This can cause one to do what they can to please the other person, and to put far too much effort into the relationship.
The other person can begin to wonder what is going on, but that doesn’t mean that they will open up about this. Instead, they could begin to pull away and, as they do this, one could come on even stronger.
To The Surface
It might only be a matter of time before the relationship comes to an end, and this could cause them to experience even more pain. Either way, one is going to feel extremely needy, and it can seem as though they need to be with the other person in order to be able to handle life.
One could end up feeling possessed by what is taking place within them, and this is going to stop them form being able to think clearly. Their thinking brain will be offline and their emotional brain will have taken over.
A Closer Look
If one was able to handle life before they met the other person, it can be hard for them to understand why they feel this way. But even if one is used to feeling this way, it can still be hard for them to understand what is going on.
What this can show is that during their younger years, their needs were rarely, if ever, met, and this would have stopped them from being able to develop in the right way. This is why they don’t feel like a whole human being.
The pain they experienced all those years ago has come to the surface, and this will cause one to feel like a dependent child. When this pain is dealt with, it will allow one to feel whole and complete.
This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.