Relationships: Why Do Some People It Find It Hard To Receive Love?

Love is something we not only want to receive from others; it is something we need to receive. And while love can mean different things to different people, the love that I am talking about here relates to: affection, kindness, support, validation, touch and compassion.

This can be something one receives from their partner or lover, and it can also come from friends and family. It can even come from someone that one meets on the street, on a night out or on holiday for instance.

Different Sources

So it is not limited to one person, it can be something one experiences from many differences sources. That’s if one is open to these different sources, if they are not, it won’t matter who is offering love.

Through being able to receive love from more than one person, there is going to be less pressure on the people that one spends their time with. As if there was only one other person showing them love, it could cause one to want to much from them and this can cause the other person to feel overwhelmed.

But if one is open and able to receive love from everyone and anyone, they are unlikely to place their focus on one person in particular. The need to receive love from others can also be counterbalanced by one’s ability to love themselves.

Giving

Through being able to receive love, not only will one feel better, they will also find it easier to give love to others. This is similar to breathing; where if one can’t breathe air in, they won’t have any air to breathe out. And when this is the case, it won’t be long until one loses their life.

When one doesn’t have the ability to receive, they might not lose their life, but it going to create problems for them. By receiving in life, one is going to have more to give to others. And this relates to things which can’t be touched and to physical things.

Normal

So as receiving is so important to ones wellbeing and to their ability to give to others, it is inevitable that they are going to suffer. And yet this could be what is normal to them, even though it goes against how life functions.

The Mind

One might be aware of the fact that they need to be able to receive in order to give and that something is not right. Or they could end up being caught up by the stories that the mind creates.

Here, the mind can cause one to: feel like a victim; that they don’t deserve to receive like other people do or that other people have something they don’t. And these conclusions, as well as others, can be taken as the truth.

A Reason

On one side then, this can seem to be something that is out of one’s control. The mind is therefore right and there is very little that one can do about it. However, the reason why one can’t receive is often the result of what is going on in their body and not the result of what it going on in their head.

Whether one attracts something into their life or not, will all depend on if their body feel safe with it. If something doesn’t feel safe, there is very little chance of one attracting it. Or if they do attract something they don’t feel safe with, they will probably end up losing it before long.

Associations

The brain in our body, also known as the ego, forms associations around everything.  And these associations will be the result of what has happened in ones adult years, as well as what took place during their childhood.

For example: if one was to imagine what their life would be like if they could receive, it is likely to be a pleasurable experience. Being able to receive love is the difference between experiencing a life of connection, support and warmth and living a life of being alone and disconnected.

A Deeper Look

So years will have passed since one was a baby and child, and one’s mind may have forgotten all about what took place, but their body will have remembered. During these years ones caregivers may have not respected their boundaries and therefore caused them to feel: smothered, overwhelmed, trapped and violated.

One then ends up fearing the very thing they need - love. Having their needs and wants met is something that could have caused them to feel powerless and that they have no control.

What feels safe is not getting to close to anyone and through this, one won’t have to experience the feelings above. But even though they will avoid these feelings, they might end up feeling abandoned.

Confusion

And through losing touch with these early experiences and the feelings that were created, one can end up wondering why their life is the way it is. The feelings that these early experiences caused would have ended up being trapped in their body and one’s mind would have formed certain beliefs.

Awareness

So as these beliefs are changed and the trapped emotions are released, one will gradually begin to feel that it is safe to receive love or anything else for that matter. This can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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Oliver J R Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/