Relationships: Why Do Some People Message Others And Then Say They Are Busy When It Comes To Getting Together?

Nowadays, it is not longer necessary for one to be with someone in order to speak to them. It could be said that this is nothing new, as it has been possible to speak to people over the phone for a quiet some time.
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However, what is relatively new is that this doesn’t need to take place either, and this is because one can simply message another person when they want to talk to them. This is going to mean that they won’t need to see them, and they won’t need to use their voice.

A Big Difference

Consequently, this is something that is going to save them a lot of time and effort. Ultimately, whenever one wants to speak to someone they can, and there is going to be no reason for them to hold anything in.

Thus, if something comes to mind, they can instantly tell someone about it. Now, there is the chance that one will get a reply straight away, or they might need to wait a little while.

Part of It

Yet, they are speaking to separate human being, so this is to be expected. If another person was only on this planet to meet their needs, there would be no reason for them to wait.

They would both have separate bodies, but that would be as far as it goes. Through understanding that another person has their own life to lead; it can allow one to be patient.

Attached

One could find that even though there are times when they are able to send a message and then to let go, there are times when this doesn’t happen. This is something that can all depend on what they are talking about.

For example, if one was talking about something serious or they were making plans, they might not be able to take their eyes off their phone. The rest of their life can then be put to one side until they receive a reply.

Another Scenario

On the other hand, this is something that could occur is one was talking to someone they were attracted to. Part of them can have the desire to go to the next stage, and so they will want to keep the conversation going.

How they feel can end up being defined by whether they hear back from them or not. When this takes place, it could be as if they are on top of the world, but if it doesn’t, they could soon come crashing down.

It’s Easy

If the other person no longer wanted to talk to them, it is not going to be difficult for them to go silent. The only thing they will have to do is to stop replying to one’s messages, and they can then carry on with their life.

They are both going to be talking to a screen and so it is not going to be the same as it would be if they were talking in person. If they were, there would be a greater need for the other person to explain why they no longer want to talk to them.

It’s Clearer

In addition to this, it is a lot harder to see what is going on for someone from behind a screen. They can say one thing, but that doesn’t mean that it matches up with what is actually going on for them.

For that reason, one could be messaging someone and it can appear as though it is going in the right direction, but this could be nothing more than an illusion. Also, as one is only exchanging words over a screen and they are not bonding like they would if they were together in person, it might not have an effect on the other person if they were to go silent.

Pros and Cons

What this shows is that while today’s technology has made it easier to talk to people, it has also created another set of problems. Yet if emotional bonds are developed through spending time with someone, this is to be expected.

Regardless of how much the world has changed or how busy people are, what has taken place for thousands of years is not just going to change. This is then similar to how human beings are more likely to use their brain than their body in today’s world, but that doesn’t mean that they can neglect their body.

The Other Side

And while one could me messaging someone and end up being ignored, they could also have a slightly different experience. In this case, someone could message them and say that they want to meet them.

They could then arrange a time to meet and when the time comes for them to get together, the other person could say that they are too busy. At one point, they are going to be hot, and then at another point, they are going to be cold.

Mystified

This could be a one-off, or it could be something that has happened on more than one occasion. If it only happens once, one might be able to forget about it and carry on as if nothing has happened.

But if this was to happen more than once, they might begin to wonder what is going on. After the first time it has happen, they might be willing to give them another chance, or they could draw the line after the first time it happens.

Emotional Regulation

What this can show is that this is someone who reaches out to them when they are feeling unstable and, through getting in touch with them, it allows them to settle down. They will then have received what they wanted, and there will be no reason for them to take things further.

One way of looking at this would be to say that they didn’t have the desire to meet them in the first place; they just wanted to change their emotional state. The trouble is that although this has a positive effect on their well-being, its causes them to use another person.  

Awareness

If one finds themselves in a situation like this, it might be in their best interest to no longer talk to them. Through taking this approach, it will save them a lot of drama, and they will be able to talk to someone who is not going to play games.

Yet, if one finds that they have the tendency to use other people in this way, it will be a good idea for them to develop their own emotional strength. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk