For some people, it is not going to matter what someone looks like as they won’t put up with behaviour that has a negative effect on them. Therefore, if they have just met someone or if they are in a relationship, their behaviour is not going to change.
But if there is a difference, they could find that they are more tolerant when they are in a relationship. In this case, they are likely to have a greater attachment to the other person, and so this is to be expected.
In The Beginning
If one was to find themselves in a relationship with someone like this, they could think about what they were like when they first came into contact with them. During this time, they may see that they were not like this.
They could find that although there were minor things back then, their behaviour was completely different to what it is like now. Even so, that is going to be in the past, and it will be up to them up deal with what is currently taking place.
At the same time, one could find that they were in a relationship like this not too long ago. As a result of what was taking place, they might have soon let the other person know that their behaviour wasn’t acceptable.
And as they are no longer with them, there is a strong chance that they were not willing to change. At first, they might have adjusted their behaviour but as time passed, it might have gone back to how it was.
It would then have been in their best interest to cut their ties and to put their own needs first. If they put their own needs to one side and continued to put up with this behaviour, their mental and emotional health would have paid the price.
When it comes to the person who is currently with someone like this, they might be able to relate to this. If they were to get in touch with what is taking place within them, they could find that they are not at their best.
Now, if one was their own island, it wouldn’t matter who they had in their life. One could have someone like this is their life and it wouldn’t have an effect on them.
Yet, as one is an interdependent human being, it means that they are always being affected by their surroundings. Therefore, if they have someone in their life who undermines them, it is going to make it harder for them to be at their best.
When one is in a situation like this, their energy is going to be used to deal with something that is taking their energy away. And as they are not receiving anything from this, it is going to be normal for them to end up feeling drained.
It is going to be as if one is constantly fighting a battle, and this will be a battle where no one is coming to help them. They are giving their energy away, but the same person is not giving them anything.
If one was to take a step back from it all, they could see that they are experiencing inner conflict. Part of them might see how destructive it is to be with this person, and another part of them might not be willing to let go.
What could come to mind is how attractive the other person is, and it could seem as though this is what is causing them to hold on. Still, as having this person is their life is no longer having a positive effect on their life, there is only going to be one part of them that they are going to pay attention to.
The Right Move
Through being able to do this and to end the relationship, it shouldn’t take very long for them to return to how they felt before. And regardless of how they feel, it would have been a lot worse if they had stayed with the same person.
They now have the chance to meet someone who is going to treat them in the right way. One might end up looking for someone else soon after, or they might decide to take a break from it all.
On the other hand, if one is unable to walk away, their mental and emotional health is only going to get worse. They could find that they don’t want to lose the other person, and this could be due to what they look like.
One is then going to lose their own sanity in order to keep someone in their life who they find attractive. If one was able to take a step back from this, they might soon wonder what is going on.
This could also be a time when the people around them start to ask them the same question, but they might not get very far. It can be as if one is in a haze, and their ability to think clearly will have all but disappeared.
What this can show is that one values the other person more than they value themselves. Through feeling so low, they haven’t got the strength to do what they need to do, and this is going to set them up to experience even more pain.
And while one can hold onto the hope that the other person will stay around, it can end up having the opposite effect. As one is putting up with bad behaviour, it is likely to cause the other person to lose respect for them.
If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, it might be necessary for them to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.