Pain is something that everyone on the planet experiences and, therefore, it is one of the things that connect human beings. However, although pain is something that can’t be avoided, it doesn’t mean that everyone is willing to accept this.
When someone is not willing to accept that this is the case, they can end up trying to take other peoples pain away. It will be as though it is their responsibility to make sure that other people feel good.
A Big Difference
Now, this doesn’t mean that they will simply listen to what is going on for another person and to offer solutions if it is necessary, for instance. No, what it means is that they will try to rescue or save them.
So, instead of being with their experience and acknowledging what they are going through, they will disregard what they are going through. It is then as though they are not really interested in assisting them.
Overstepping the Mark
The other person might feel better after coming into contact with them, but there is also the chance that they will end up being dependent on them. Thus, if one was to no longer spend time with them, the other person could end up returning to how they felt before.
One is then not going to be putting tape over leaks in people’s roofs; they will be putting tape over people’s emotional wounds. But, even though they will be stopping people from facing their own wounds and being able to stand on their own two feet, they will believe that they are doing the right thing.
The people they try to save, along with plenty of others, will see them in a positive light. At the same time, as time passes these people could end up feeling as though one also stops them from being able to live their own life and expressing themselves.
Part of them is then going to appreciate what one does for them, while another part of them will feel held back by it. When it comes to the reason why one is likely receive a lot of positive feedback for behaving in this way, it is going to come down to the fact that just about every level of society supports this kind of behaviour.
No matter whether it relates to personal relationships or to different social programs, it is often believed that the best way to assist another person is to rescue them. The main thing that this does is make someone, or a group of people, feel better about themselves.
What it rarely does is give someone the tools that they need to be empowered, thereby allowing them to stand on their own two feet. It could then be said that while it may seem as though the intention is to make a difference, this is not the complete truth.
When someone is held back by the support that they are given, it can show that the purpose of this support was not to actually assist them. The primary reason why another person is there for them could be to allow them to avoid their own issues.
So, when one has the tendency to try to take other peoples pain away, this could be a way of them to keep their own pain at bay. Seeing another person in pain could remind them of their own pain, and trying to stop them from expressing how they feel will be a way for one to make sure their own pain doesn’t end up being triggered.
It Just Happens
This is not to say that one will be aware of how they feel just before they try to stop another person from expressing how they feel. They might experience a momentary sense of discomfort, which will give them the urge to take action.
There is the chance that they have behaved in this way for a number of years, and if they were to take a step back and to reflect on what is taking place, they might end up being overwhelmed by how they feel. The defence that they had in place – rescuing others – will no longer be there, causing them to come face to face with their own emotional wounds.
It will be hard for them to handle this pain in the beginning, and this is why it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
The external support that someone like this provides will make it easier for one to face how they feel. They can then begin to work through their emotional wounds, and, as this takes place, their need to rescue others will gradually subside.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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