Relationships: Why Do Some People Walk On Egg Shells When They Are Around Others?

While there are some people who are on alert from time to time, there are others who are more or less always on alert. And even though these people will have a radically different experience on this planet, it doesn’t mean that they won’t come into contact with each other.

A Passer-By

So regardless of how one experiences life, they are likely to have moments when they walk by someone who is having a different experience. This is something that could take place where they are out shopping, or when they on holiday, for instance.

There is also the chance that they will speak to people while they are at work, who are different. In fact, some of their friends may also experience life differently, and one might not even realise this.

Opening Up

If they were to talk about how they experience life, it might be hard for one of their friends to understand them. This friend might not know what it is like to spend most to their life in a watchful manner, or this might be the only thing they now.

But if one felt the need to open up, it is likely to show that their life is not going as they want it to go. Therefore, one is more likely to open up if they find it hard to relax around others.

Hidden

At the same time, when one experiences life in this way they can end up keeping it to themselves. The reason for this is that if one doesn’t feel safe around others, they are not going to want to say anything that could make it even worse.

One could believe that it is not a good idea for them to talk to people about their experience, as it could cause them to suffer even more. And if they are surrounded by people who are abusive, this is not going to be much of a surprise.

Another Factor

Yet, in order for one to get to this stage, they would need to be aware of how they experience life.  Another way of looking at this would be to say that if one is unable to take a step back and to reflect on what is going on for them, there will be no reason for them to reach out.

This will be how life is and they will do everything they can to make sure that they don’t displease others. In their eyes, this will be something that they have to do; it is not going to be something that they can do anything about.

The Ideal

When one is able to relax around others, it is going to allow them to express their true-self. There is going to be no reason for them to focus purely on what is going on around them, and this will then allow them to tune into what is going on within them.

Through being able to focus on what is going on within them and what is going on without, it will be a lot easier for them to function. Not only will they be physically separate from others, but they will also behave as though they have their own needs and feelings.

In The Moment

If something was to happen, and one needed to defend themselves, for instance, they would be able to take action. Other than that, they will be able to be present, and this is going to enable them to respond as opposed to react to life.

This will stop them from creating unnecessary problems, and it will save then a lot of time and energy. If they have something to say, they will say it; there will be no need for them to keep their thoughts to themselves.

One Focus

On the other hand, when one is unable to relax around others, it is going to stop them from being able express what is taking place within them. They will have disconnected from their true-self and a false-self will have been created in its place.

Their main priority will be to make sure that they don’t have a negative effect on the people in their life. One is then going to do everything they can to appease others, and this is naturally going to take a lot out of them.

A Powerful Ability

Due to the amount of time they have spent focusing on the moods, behaviours and facial expressions of others, there is a strong chance that they are very good at reading people and working out how they will behave. It is then not going to be hard for them to behave in a way that will please people.

Even so, there are still going to be moments when this doesn’t work, and this is likely to have a big effect on them. Another person could end verbally abusing them, and one could end up being overwhelmed with fear.

The Norm

The trouble is that even if one is not around someone who is abusive, it might not stop them from walking on egg shells. Thus, even if one is around someone who is not interested in controlling them, it is not going to matter.

Consequently, one is going to be accustomed to feeling anxious, and other people could describe them as someone who is always on edge. They won’t be able to let go and to be spontaneous.

A Deeper Look

What this is likely to show is that one’s childhood years were a time when they had to walk on eggs shells in order to survive. This would have been a time when it was essential for them to tune into their caregiver/s needs and wants.

If they didn’t do this, they may have been abused and/or neglected. It is then to be expected that they would experience life in this way as an adult.

Awareness

Through being brought up in this kind of environment, one is likely to be carrying a lot of trauma. And until this is dealt with, it is going to be a challenge for them to connect to their true-self, relax into their body and to attract people who are healthy.
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The assistance of a therapist or a healer may be needed here. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk