In the beginning of a relationship, everything can be going fine, and then as it progress certain issues can appear. This can then cause one of them to wonder how the other person could have changed so much.
In fact, it could be as if the other person has ended up becoming someone else, and this can be hard for them to handle. During this time, they might start to think about whether they were putting on an act.
The Next Step
This could then be a time when they will wait and see what happens; with the hope that the other person will go back to how they were. They might continue to behave in the same way, or they could adjust their behaviour.
If they were to alter their behaviour, it could result in them doing more to please their partner. The alternative might be for them to no longer put in an as much effort and to come across as indifferent.
A Short-Term Solution
Through doing this, they may find that the other person begins to change their behaviour. But although this might work for a little while, they could soon see that it is not going to be the answer to their problems.
On the other hand, one could just ignore what is taking palace and continue to behave in the same way. Even so, it is likely to be only a matter of time before they have to face up what is going on.
Yet, if they don’t end up altering their behaviour, they could try to talk to the other person about what is taking place. This could mean that they will share their perspective on what is taking place, or they could end up having a go at them.
If they were to do the former, it might make it easier for the other person to share their thoughts. This is unlikely to take place if the latter was to occur, and the other person could shut down.
It could be said that the ideal will be for one to talk about what is going on without putting their partner down. This is going to be the best way for them to change what is taking place in their relationship.
If they don’t do this and the other person ends up going silent, they are not going to get anywhere. This is can then be no different to what would happen if an argument broke out.
When it is possible for one to open up without putting their partner down, it can allow the relationship to move forward. And there could be a legitimate reason as to why the other person has changed.
Once one finds out about this, they may find that the relationship begins to change, and it might no longer consume their attention. This can then be seen as something that is relatively straight forward, and not something that they need to think about any more.
However, something like this could take palace and then before long, the relationship could go back to how it was. One could then end up going through the whole process again, and the same outcome could soon arise once more.
At this point, they might no longer be willing to stay with the other person, and they might end up walking away. But even if they were to do this, it might only be matter of time before they end up getting back with them.
The person they were with could say that they are no longer the same or that it will be different this time. One could then come to believe what they are saying and be only too happy to return to how things were.
Having said that, regardless of whether they were to break up, one could suggest that their partner goes to see a therapist. This can be seen as something that will allow them to finally change their behaviour.
What this shows it what their partner is going to be seen as the one with the issues, and so there will be no reason for one to do anything. Now, there is always the chance that their partner won’t be open to this idea.
If this is the case, one could say that they will only stay with them if they go and see one. Therefore, their partner could end up working with someone, and this will then give them the chance to see why they are behaving in a way that is undermining their relationship.
A New Start
Through taking a deeper look within themselves and acknowledging what is taking place, they could find that their behaviour starts to change. At the same time, it might be necessary for them to do more than this.
One could then find that their relationship ends up improving, and this is naturally going to have a big effect on their life. Yet, what one could also find is that they are longer attracted to them.
What this can show is that although the other persons behaviour was having a negative effect on them at a conscious level, it might have been what felt comfortable at a deeper level. The other person is no longer going to behave in the same way and this is going to stop them from feeling the same way about them.
Another way of looking at this would be to say that one doesn’t just randomly end up with people who have problems. The reason they end up with people like this is because there is something that they need to deal with within themselves.
If one can relate to this and they want to change their circumstances, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist. This will give them the chance to attract people who are right for them.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.