Relationships: Why Doesn't It Always Work When Someone Ends Up With The Person They Were Having An Affair With?
If one is in a relationship that is no longer as fulfilling as it used to be, they could take the time to talk to their partner about what is going on. This can then give them the opportunity to look into what needs to take place in order for their relationship to improve.
On the other hand, one could talk to one of their fiends about what is going on, and this could be a time when they will be given some advice. One might appreciate what this person tells them and be only too happy to apply what they have been told.
At the same time, one might not do anything with the information that this person gives them. What this can come down to is that one might not believe that their advice would do much good.
So, after speaking to a friend and not ending up with a clear idea about what needs to be done, one might reach out for external support. This can mean that they will see a therapist or a counsellor, for instance.
Through taking this approach, there is the chance that one will find out exactly what they need to do to change their current situation. One could then tell their partner about this, and they may even end up joining them for a session.
A Good Sign
If they do join them, it is likely to show that their partner values the relationship about as much as they do. Whereas if they don’t want to do this, it can show that they no longer care about the relationship.
However, what it could illustrate is that they don’t feel comfortable with sharing their life with a stranger. Therefore, even though they would be opening up to someone who has the right training and experience, it is not going to matter.
If this was to take place, it could be said that at least their partner doesn’t want their relationship to end. Over time, it might be possible for their partner to realise that they need to see a professional.
Still, this is not to say that this is going to be the only way that they will be able to move forward together. The main thing is that both of them want to find a way to move through their current challenge/s.
But while it will be in one’s best interest to do something about what is taking place, they could just put up with it. One could believe that there is nothing they can do about it and end up suffering in silence.
As a result of this, their life is only going to get worse, and it might only be a matter of time until their partner leaves them. What could also happen is that their partner might end up having an affair.
With this in mind, it is going to be vital for one to do something about their relationship; if they don’t; they may soon pay the price. It is not uncommon for people to take their partner away on holiday during moments like this.
This can be seen as something that will end up bringing them closer together. On the surface, this can sound like a great idea; after all, they will be somewhere special and there will be nothing to distract them.
A Short-Term Solution
They could go away and find that everything goes smoothly; their time together could remind them of how they felt at the beginning of the relationship. After this, everything could change, and this will have been money well spent.
Then again, they could have a good time away and, after a few weeks, it could go back to how it was before. This is not going to be much of a surprise though, as it’s not as if anything will have changed at a deeper level.
If one was to ignore what is taking place and they were to come across someone who gives them the kind of attention what they crave, they could end up being drawn to this person. Ultimately, they are likely to feel as though they are missing something, and they can believe that they have found someone who will fulfil their unmet needs.
One is then going to have to put on an act around their partner and to pretend that everything is normal. It might not be long until their partner knows what is going on, or they might just sense that something isn’t right.
If one is in a relationship with someone who is having an affair, it can be hard to understand how they wouldn’t be aware of this. Yet, if they are no longer emotionally connected to their partner, it can stop them from picking up in the signs
They may have got to the point where they no longer care what they do, and part of them might want them to find someone else. That way, they won’t have to end the relationship – their partner will.
Will it last?
If one does have an affair with someone, they could end up having a long-lasting relationship with them. Alternatively, one could find that now that they are no longer with another person, they start to lose interest.
One might no longer be attracted to this person, which could show that they were only interested in the relief that they provided. And now that they are no longer the same person, they no longer have the same needs.
But if one is no longer in a relationship that isn’t working, it is to be expected that they wouldn’t be drawn to the same kind of person. What this shows is that as one changes, their needs can also change.
If one is in a relationship that isn’t working, and they want to do something about this, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This can be proved by a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.