Relationships: Will The People That Someone Attracts Online Be Different To The People They Attract Offline?
If one was to run out of food in the past, they would need to go shopping; however, in today’s world, this is no longer the case. The only thing that they need to do is to go online and to order what it is that they need.
And depending on when they order what they need, it could be delivered in a few hours or it could arrive the following day. But regardless of when it is delivered, this is something that will save them a lot of time and effort.
This is just one of the things that one can do through being able to use the internet, and another thing they can do is find a partner. As a result of this, there will be no need for them to go out into the world, so to speak.
The only thing that they will need to do is to join a dating site (or a number of them), and them to upload a few pictures and to write a description. They may also need to pay a certain fee, but this won’t always be the case.
On one hand, one could tell people about what they are going, and on the other hand, this could be something that they keep to themselves. If they were to keep it to themselves, it could be a sign that they haven’t got anyone to share it with.
At the same time, it could be sign that one is ashamed of what they are doing, and this then stops them from letting other people know. Now, there could be a number of reasons as to why one would feel this way.
What it can come down to is that internet dating is often seen as something that people use when they haven’t got what it takes to find someone in the real world. Based on this, one can feel as though there is something wrong with them and that’s why they are going online.
Yet while this outlook still exists, it is something that is gradually being phased out, and this shows that internet dating is starting to be seen as normal. Thus, even if one does feel ashamed for using the internet to find a partner, it is not something they need to be too concerned about.
One can simply accept how they feel and see that it is simply the result of the conditioning they have received up until this point. In others words, how they feel doesn’t reflect reality, and this can allow them to focus on finding the right person.
And if one was to talk to the people around them about what is taking place, they may end up being supported or they might not. There is also the chance that some of these people have also tried it, or they might be trying it at this moment.
Still, what these people have done in the past or what they are doing in the present is not going to matter; what matters is that one does what they need to do. Their need to find someone to share their life with is far more important than pleasing other people.
And if the people around them truly value them and want them to be happy, then there is a strong chance that they will support them. But if this is not the case, then one might need to think about whether they are around the right people.
If one was to reflect on why they are using the internet to find a mate, it could be because they haven’t got enough time to find someone in the real world. Along with this, one could also see it as another option, and this can mean that they will still go to the kind of environments where people typically find people to date.
However, one may have put a lot of effort into finding someone in the real world and not had the kind of success that they are looking for. This could mean that one simply hasn’t found someone they get on with, or it could mean that they attract people who are abusive.
A New Beginning
Either way, internet dating can be seen as something that will allow them to finally meet someone who is right for them. So one could spend a while talking to someone (or a number of people) and then they could go on a date.
After meeting them, they could find that they have a good connection and it might not be long until they get together again. This could then be the start of something they haven’t experienced before.
Alternatively, time could pass and one could see that the person they have met is no different to the people they have been with before. In fact, it might not even take this long, and they could notice this straight away.
And while one could meet someone who is different, they could also end up in the same situation all over again. As a result of this, one could come to believe that it is not possible for them to find someone who is right for them.
This can then cause them to feel hopeless and they could believe that there is nothing they can do to change this part of their life. It could be said that it would be normal for them to feel this way; especially as they are unable to experience life differently.
So even though one is using the internet to find someone, they are still attracting the kind of people that they would attract in the real world. What this comes down to is that one is not randomly attracted to people; they are a reflection of what is taking place within them.
Therefore, if one has been unable to attract someone that is right for them, it will be important for them to look at what is taking place within them. This could be a time where they need to change what they believe, process an emotional build-up and/or give back what doesn’t belong to them.
The assistance of a therapist and/or a support group may be needed here.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.