Rescued: Can Someone Have The Need To Be Rescued If They Experienced Developmental Trauma?13/12/2021
Although someone may not realise that they have the need to be rescued, this is something that they would soon see if they were able to reflect on their life. By doing this, the evidence would start to appear.
Now, it could seem strange how someone could be in this position and not be aware of it. Even so, if this is how they have been for most of their life and they have a number of defences in place, why would they be? Hidden What these defences will do is block out certain parts of their own consciousness from their conscious awareness, preventing them from being aware of what is truly going on for them. Therefore, in order for them to clearly see what is going on, it would be necessary for someone else to shed light on their behaviour. Yet, even if this was to take place, they could end up dismissing what has been said. This shows that their defences will be going their job and stopping them from being aware of things that would cause them to experience a lot of pain. Two Sides On one side then, not being aware of what is going on will allow them to keep a lot of pain at bay. If this pain was to break through and enter their conscious awareness, they could end up being in a very bad way. On the other, by not being able to face what is going on and continuing to behave in the same way, they won’t be able to take life by the horns, so to speak. The reason for this is that they will continue to look towards others to make changes for them. A Closer Look When it comes to a lot of the people in their life, these people could be more like parental figures than friends. These people could typically do a lot for them and one could be only too happy for this to take place. They could often passively wait around until someone like this reaches out to them to do something. So, unless this takes place, they could spend time doing nothing or simply watch TV, for instance. The Other Side But, while being this way will be something that feels comfortable, it doesn’t mean that they won’t ever feel frustrated and controlled. There could be moments when they feel as though they have no control over their life and are even oppressed by the people in their life. Still, as bad as this may be at times, it will just be seen as something that they will put up with. If they were to think about letting go of someone who is controlling, they could feel extremely uncomfortable. A Mediocre Existence Along with how unfulfilling most of their relationships are likely to be, most of the other areas of their life are likely to be the same. They could have a job or perhaps a vocation but, regardless of this, they are unlikely to have been able to make much headway. Once again, their need for someone to not just be there for them but to practically live their life for them is likely to hold them back. They won’t feel the strength or have access to the support within them that is needed to take them forward in this or any other area of their life. External Feedback By being this way, there is the chance that they will often be labelled as being lazy or lacking courage. They could be seen as someone who needs to stop waiting around and get things moving. Furthermore, they could be told that they need to grow up, to stand on their own two feet and stop expecting other people to do everything for them. It is then as if they are choosing to behave in this way and simply need to change their behaviour. What’s going on? However, even though it may seem as though they are choosing to behave in this way, there is a strong chance that there is far more to it. At an emotional level, they are likely to feel deeply powerless and helpless and are often in a collapsed state, which is why they behave in this way. This is then unlikely to be something that they consciously think about but even if they did think about how they experience life, they probably won’t believe that they have another option. Ultimately, they won’t feel like a strong and capable adult, they will feel like an abandoned baby or child. Back In Time What this may illustrate is that, during their formative years, they were typically neglected. This would have meant that they not only felt powerless and helpless throughout this stage of their life, but they were powerless and helpless. To handle this pain, they would have had to go into a collapsed, shut down state. As a result, this stage of their life would have been a time when they were deeply traumatised and deprived of the nutrients that they needed to grow and develop. Half Child, Half Adult From the outside and perhaps at an intellectual level, they will be an adult, but when it comes to their level of emotional development, they won’t be. Naturally, for them to be able to stand on their own two feet and live a great life, they will need to be emotionally strong. For as long as they are on their knees, emotionally speaking, they will be heavily undermined. Another way of looking at this would be to say that they will be emotionally dependent, not emotionally interdependent. Awareness If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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 Oliver JR CooperAuthor of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant. Introductory Consultation
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Disclaimer
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
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