Resilience: Can Childhood Trauma Make It Hard For Someone To Handle Setbacks?

It could be said that no matter who someone is, there are going to be moments in their life when something won't go to plan. So, instead of being able to go from A to B, they will end up going from A to A.

For whatever reason, they will have come up against a hurdle and it won't be possible for them to take the next step. At this point, there is likely to be a number of options available to them. 

A Few Options

One option would be for them to do the same thing as before, with the hope that this time it will work. Another option would be for them to come up with another plan and try something different. 

Alternatively, they could simply throw the towel in and give up altogether. The second if not the first, although they could opt for the second option after a while, will allow them to move forward, whilst the last option won't. 

Growth and Expansion

Naturally, if someone has the tendency to go for option one and option two when it is necessary, they are likely to live a life that is worth living. Most likely, they will know deep down that they are more than the challenges that arise and this will allow them to move through them.

Thus, even if something does hold them back for a while, it won't end up holding them back forever. Living in this way will allow them to feel alive and achieve their goals.

Support

Still, this is not to say that they will always do this by themselves as they are likely to have people in their life who have their back, so to speak. When there is not someone in their life who can be there for them, they might end up reaching out to someone who can.

Once again, their belief that they are more than their circumstances and their emotional strength will play a big part in what propels them forward. There is the chance that they have always been this way; then again, it might have taken them a little while to be this way. 

A Different Reality

When someone has the inclination to throw in the towel when they come up against a hurdle, they are going to live a life that is radically different. There may be moments when they go for the first or second option, but this will be the exception.

Deep down, they are likely to believe that they don't have what it takes to overcome the challenges that arise in their life. To use an analogy: most challenges, then, are going to be like a wall that is far too high for them to climb over.

No Chance

Thanks to this, they are unlikely to truly be able to grow and expand; they will only be able to get so far in life. They could have moments when they look at how well other people are doing and believe that they have something that they themselves don't have.

If this is so, they could spend time imagining what it would be like to be someone else and how different their life would be if they were. Due to this, they are likely to put certain people on a pedestal.

An Island

This could mean that they won't even bother talking about what they are struggling with and reaching out for the support of the people in their life. Yet, if they do talk about what they are struggling with, most of the people in their life could simply validate their outlook.

If they do, this can illustrate that these people are disempowered and estranged from their own inherent power. These people will simply be a reflection of how one sees themselves. 

A Closer Look

The truth is that one does have what it takes to handle the challenges of life, so why is it that they don't realise this at the core of their being? What this can show is that they are in a traumatised state.

Consequently, they don't have access to the strength that would allow them to overcome the challenges of life. Without this, it is to be expected that what takes place externally will be seen as being insurmountable.

A Waste of Time

In all likelihood, there will have been moments when they have tried to overcome something and not got very far, so now they won't even bother. Sadly, they will now be a very watered-down version of themselves; they won't be standing in their magnificence or living a deeply fulfilling life.

When it comes to why they would be in a traumatised state and out of touch with their inherent power, it can be due to what took place during their early years. This may have been a time when they not only felt helpless but were helpless.

Going Deeper

Assuming they didn't have a difficult birth, there is the chance that they were regularly left and were not given the care that they needed. They would then have struggled at least in the beginning, in order to try to have their needs met, but it wouldn't have been very effective.

To handle the pain that this would have caused them to experience, they would have ended up emotionally collapsing and shutting down. This would have been a time when they felt totally defeated as there was absolutely nothing that they could have done.

The Past Is Present

This stage of their life is now over but whenever they come up against a challenge, this early imprint will be set off. Their past will then be projected onto the present and they won't be able to accept that they are no longer helpless.

It will be as though they have fallen into a very deep hole and are unable to get out. For this to change, and for them to truly put the past behind them and embrace their inherent power in the process, they will need to work through this early pain. 

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

---

If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.

• Join my Facebook Page.
• Follow me on Twitter.
• The books I have written.
• Consultations.

Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk