If the people one spent their time with had no effect on their life it wouldn’t matter who they had around them. But as human beings are interdependent and are therefore constantly being affected by the people around them, one has to choose their company wisely.
When one walks into a room where food is being cooked or there is a certain aroma, it won’t be long until they end up smelling the same as the environment they are in. Their clothes and hair have absorbed the smell, and one will need to change their clothes and to have a shower/bath in order to return to how they were before.
But while it is relatively straight forward when it comes to a smell, the same can’t be said when it comes to what one picks up from others. What happens externally can end up being internalised and go on to create one belief’s about themselves and the world.
Having a shower or a shower/bath might make one feel better after being around someone or a group of people who are dysfunctional, but it is unlikely to do much else. They will need to use their mind to challenge what took place and if that’s the only thing they do, that might not be enough either.
They might need to cut their ties with the people or the person who is causing them to feel drained and who is lowering the quality of their life. And once they have done this, it could be like going into rehab.
This is because one will need to cleanse themselves so to speak and to get back it touch with who they are. From here, one will then need to spend their time with people who are healthy and inspirational. But if one is unable to find people who are like this, this could sound idealistic.
Being around people who are far from life enhancing could be what is normal and even how their life has always been. One might not know what it’s like to be around people who are supportive and life enhancing.
There are going to be others who have always had these kinds of people around them and this might be the only thing they have known. Just as there are going to be people whose life started this way and who had to gradually build a life that was filled with people who are healthy and inspirational.
Set In Stone
So while one could believe that their life is set in stone and that there is nothing they can do to change it, they can draw inspiration from people who have transformed their life. And as no one is their own island, it is vital that they have the right support around them.
This means that one will need to be around others who are going to make them want to move forward and to achieve their goals. Who bring out the best in them as opposed to the worst and who focus on what is wrong with them.
However, for one reason or another, it is not always possible for one to be around the kind of people who inspire them. This could be because of where one lives or it might relate to how old they are and how they are not old enough to take control of this area of their life.
The people one is around or a certain person is then not going to inspire them but what they can do is give them an example of how they don’t want to be. One is then not going to be moving towards what they see; they are going to be moving away from it.
There is then the chance that one is unclear as to what they want but they know what they don’t want and this can enable them to have a heightened sense of awareness around what is not right for them. And as they know what they don’t want, it is going to be a lot easier for them to notice what they do want.
Through being completely clear about what is not right for them, they will have an inner sense of clarity. When they think about what it is they don’t want, it is likely to make them feel uncomfortable. The pain that they feel can then drive them forward and towards what they do want to experience in their life.
Alternatively, one could just end up feeling frustrated and hopeless and not allow their pain to build. But if they embrace their pain and don’t remove it through some kind of addiction, it can give them the drive they need.
Positive Role Models
The next stage will be for them to actively look for positive role models. In the beginning, one might have to find them in books or films and then as time passes, they might meet people who inspire them. What matters is that one doesn’t give up and stays focused on the kind of people they want to be around.
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Oliver J R Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.