If someone had to choose between feeling happy or feeling sad, they’re likely to choose the second option; being happy feels good and being sad feels bad. Based on this outlook, one feeling is seen as being better than the other. But just because feeling happy feels better than feeling sad, it doesn’t mean that one feeling is better than the other.
On one side of the spectrum is happiness and on the other is sadness, and while one side feels better than the other, they both have a purpose. However, if one is stuck on one side of the spectrum, it is going to be a challenge for them to realise this.
The side that comes to mind here is likely to be the side where one experiences sadness. But if one was to always feel happy, they would soon experience another set of problems.
The Grass Is Always Greener
When one is in a position where they feel sad and are unable to change how they feel, they could believe that feeling happy all the time is the answer to their current problem. This could be seen as human nature and how we often think that the grass is greener somewhere else.
But if one was to change their circumstances and live in another way, it could improve their life, but it could also lead to another set of problems. In the beginning, one’s life could seem better and then as time passes, it’s as if nothing has changed.
It is through feeling sad that one is able to appreciate being happy. If one was always happy, they would soon get used to it and it would no longer have the same affect. This is not to say that one should experience more sadness than happiness though.
At times, one’s life will have more moments where they feel sad than moments where they feel happy, and this is normal. As human beings we forms attachments to things and when an attachment comes to an end, we’re going to feel sad.
One way to avoid this would be to stop oneself from forming attachments, but then life would be no better. On one side, one would no longer have to experience the sadness that arises when an attachment is broken, but at the same time, they wouldn’t experience the happiness that an attachment brings.
It is impossible for one to have one without the other and while one side of the spectrum is seen as being better than the other, they both have a place. Being sad is part of life, however, if one always feels sad, it is a clear sign that something is not right.
For some people, feeling sad is something they will experience from time to time and it could also last longer if they have experienced a major loss. So while it could last longer than a day or even a number of years, it is still a temporary experience. It is unlikely to be something that will stay with them for the rest of their life and because of this; they will rise up once again.
This is how some people will experience sadness, but it is not how everyone will experience sadness. There are going to be people who don’t just feel sad at certain times or because they have lost something, it is going to be how they always feel.
How Life Is
It then doesn’t matter what is taking place externally, as they are unable to change how they feel. Their life is then something they’re unable to enjoy; instead, it is something they have to endure.
This doesn’t mean that the people around them realise what is taking place within them; as one might act as if everything is fine. The image they present to others is that they’re happy and that they are never down.
Here, one might have disconnected from how they feel and it is then not only the people around them who are unaware of what is really taking place, one is also in the same position. Or one might embrace how they feel certain times and then avoid it at others.
There are also going to be people who don’t avoid how they feel and they could be labelled as being ‘depressed’. When one feels this way it can cause them to retract from life and to become more introverted. This is an act of self protection and a way for one to stop themselves from experiencing even more pain.
If one feels sad all the time and it doesn’t matter what they do or even how they think, they could be diagnosed as having some kind of chemical imbalance. Perhaps one is seen as being born this way or that their genetics are the problem.
Some people might say that it is ones thoughts that are causing them to feel sad and that they need to change them. Based on these two outlooks, one could end up taking drugs or end up being acutely aware of their thoughts.
Another reason why one feels sad all the time could be because of the emotions that are trapped in their body. When one experiences loss, they’re going to experience grief and when one is unable to grieve, the grief can stay in their body.
It is then no longer a temporary experience and something one gradually overcomes; it is something that defines them. One is then in a constant state of loss and while they might no longer remember what happened, the emotional experience has stayed within them.
This could relate to the loss of a loved one or the end of a relationship. Perhaps one experienced a childhood where they were neglected or abused and loss was then a normal experience for them.
What happened is part of the reason why one feels as they do; the other reason is that one didn’t process how they felt. As a child, this could be due to the fact that one didn’t feel safe to express their feelings or because there wasn’t anyone around at the time to regulate their feelings.
The loss, sadness and grief have then stayed stuck in ones upper body and then further down could be the following feelings: hopelessness, helplessness, shame, powerlessness and even death. All the time these feelings remain in one’s body, it is not going to matter how they think or what they experience.
So one will need to process their emotional experiences of the past and as this takes place, one will start feel different. The assistance of a therapist or a healer is likely to be needed. Here, one will receive the support that they need in order to face their feelings.
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Oliver J R Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.