Self-Abandonment: Can Someone Abandon Themselves If They Were Neglected During Their Early Years?

If someone made a number of New Year’s resolutions, it doesn’t mean that they will have followed through with any of them. They could think about some if not all of the things that they planned to do every now and then but that could be about as far as it will go.

Yet, even if they don’t have any New Year’s resolutions, there could still be a number of things that they want to do but don’t do. What is clear is that unless they take the next step, at least one area of their life is unlikely to change.

Another Part

This might not be the only way in which they turn their back on themselves as whenever an opportunity heads their way, they could typically push it away. For example, a friend or a family member could ask them if they would like to join them or offer to help them with something and they could decline their offer.

If this hasn’t taken place already, there could come a point in time when they will rarely be asked by another if they would like to join them or if they want help with something. Naturally, the people in their life will come to the conclusion that one is not interested in spending time with them.

One More

Along with this, when they do start something, they might soon put it to one side and forget about it. This will stop them from being able to make a significant amount of progress and mastering whatever it is that they are learning.

What this may show is that they hit a brick wall or they might have just lost interest. Either way, having the inclination to put something to one side and not staying the course is not going to serve them.

Watered Down

Based on how they generally behave, their life is not going to be anything like it would be if they were truly there for themselves. Now, there may be people who have let them down over the years and continue to do so but they themselves will be the ones who are truly letting them down.

Like a dog that has been left outside and is deprived of the food and shelter that they need, they will be depriving themselves of so much. For their life to change, it will be essential for them to look into why they are behaving in this way.  

Stepping Back

If they were able to step back and reflect on their life and how they often behave, they could find that a big part of them doesn’t care about their life or themselves. This part of them will then have given up and lost the will to live.

Without the desire to change their life and to be here, it is to be expected that they would behave in this way. There is a chance that they have been this way for most of their life.

Going Deeper

If they have been this way for as long as they can remember, it may show that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a stage of their life when one or both of their parents were not emotionally available.

Consequently, when their parents were around, they would have seldom been seen and heard by them and, at other moments, they might have been rejected and abandoned. This would have deprived them of the emotional nutrients that they needed to be able to grow and develop in the right way.

The Meaning

And, as they were egocentric, how they were treated would have been personalised. They would then have come to believe that the reason they were treated this way was that they were worthless and unlovable.

Still, this would have been more than just an outlook that they developed in their mind; it would have been something that permeated their whole being. How they saw themselves and the world would have been filtered through this inner state after this point.

The Truth

Ultimately, how they were treated had nothing to do with how worthy or lovable they were or are; it was a reflection of what was going on for their parent or parents. The trouble is that due to how underdeveloped they were whilst this was going on, they were unable to realise this.

Thanks to what they were through, they will have experienced a lot of pain and a number of their developmental needs won’t have been met. This pain would have been repressed, along with their developmental needs.

Drawing the Line

For them to know, at the core of their being, that they have worth and are lovable they are likely to have a lot of pain to work through. This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

---

​If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.

• Join my Facebook Page.
• Follow me on Twitter.
• The books I have written.
• Consultations.

Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk