While one can be in a position where they take care themselves, they can also end up doing the complete opposite. When this happens, one is not going to treat themselves with respect, and they could even go out of their way to harm themselves.
If someone was to take the time to observe their behaviour, they might wonder what is going on. It could be hard for them to understand why they would treat themselves in this way.
The Only Person
When one is an adult, it is going to be up to them to make sure that their needs are met and that they don’t allow anyone to harm them. This is not going to be something that anyone else can do for them.
Therefore, if one is unable to do this, it is going to be normal for them to suffer in one way or another. Now, this is not to say that other people can’t play a part here; what it comes down to is that one is no longer a child.
A Different Focus
These kinds of people could be there from time to time to remind one to make sure that they treat themselves with respect. They may even go one step father and end up doing things for them.
But as they will have their own needs to deal with, it is not going to be possible for them to behave like a parent would. Also, even if one did have people like this in their life, it doesn’t mean that they would be able to get through to them.
A Momentary Effect
As a result of this, one could have moments where their life improves but if these people were not around, they would soon go back to how they were. It can then be similar to having one good meal a week, as opposed to eating right every day.
It could be said that this is going to be better than not eating anything, but it won’t be the ideal scenario to be in. Yet, if one resists the support that people offer them, it is not going to matter what these people try to do to help them.
Due to how one responds to the help that is offered, it can result in a lot of people walking away from them. Or, if they don’t walk away because of this, they could do so to protect themselves.
These people could find that it is not good for them to be around them, and they will be putting their needs first by cutting their ties. Along with this, one could have people around them who experience life the same way.
Like Attracts Like
Nevertheless, if one treats themselves so badly, it could be said that it is not going to be a surprise for them to be around people like this. In fact, being around these kinds of people could be what feels comfortable.
And even though these people are destructive, it might not even stand out to them, and this is going to come down to how they experience life. Thus, it would be waste of time for people to just tell them to spend time with people who are healthy.
What this shows is that when one doesn’t respect themselves, they can end up spending time with people who are just as harmful. It could even appear as though these people are even more destructive than they are.
This could be the case, or it could mean that one has the tendency to cover up what they do to themselves. For example, although could come across as someone who doesn’t treat themselves well, they could also cover this up.
A Closer Look
If someone was able to tune into what is taking place in one’s mind, they could be in for a shock. They could soon find out that one is their own worst enemy, and could be hard for them to handle what is going on.
In the majority of cases though, someone will only need to look at one’s behaviour to realise that they are not their own best friend. In addition to what their relationships are like, there will be the effect this has on their career.
On one hand, one could have a job that they don’t enjoy, or they might only get so far in this area of their life. And on the other hand, they could be a workaholic who works themselves into the ground.
When it comes to the former, it shows that they don’t allow themselves to make progress, and when to come to the latter; it is not going to be possible for them to appreciate what they do achieve. Either way, as they are punishing themselves, their life is not going to be very enjoyable.
And as they find it hard to talk to themselves in a positive and nurturing manner, it can be a challenge for them to feel good about themselves. There could be moments when they feel on top of the world, and moments when they hit rock bottom.
If their mood does fluctuate in this way, it could set them up to use alcoholic, drugs, or even sex to regulate how they feel. In some cases, one might even physically harm themselves; this might involve cutting certain parts of their body, or they could behave in ways that are likely to cause them harm.
A Deeper Look
When it comes to why someone would experience life in this way, there is the chance that their childhood years played a part. This could have been a time when they were not given the care that they need in order to grow and develop.
Instead, this could have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected. Through being treated in this way, they would have come to see themselves as being worthless, and how they were treated would have laid the foundations for how they would treat themselves.
As this is likely to have been something that took place over number of years, it is unlikely to be something that will change overnight. But though having the desire to move forward and the right support, one can gradually begin to value themselves.
This support can be provided by a therapist.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
Self-Love - How To Develop Self-Love And Self-Worth