Self-Development: Can Self-Development Cause Someone To Become Even More Disconnected From Themselves?
By the time that someone gets into self-development, there is the chance that they won’t have a very good connection with themselves. What this means is that they might not have a strong connection with their true essence or their feelings.
But even if this is the case, it doesn’t mean that this will be something that they are aware of. The reason for this is that this could be how their life has been for a very long time.
This doesn’t mean that they won’t ever experience feelings, though, as there could be moments when the feel overwhelmed. Still, their feelings could generally be seen as a problem, with them being something that they want to remove.
Furthermore, they may have a strong need to be more confident and capable, so that they can achieve their goals. Thanks to coming across self-development, then, they will find a number of ways to change their current circumstances.
When it comes to their feelings that are often out of control, they may be told that this will change when they learn how to ‘manage’ their thoughts. Therefore, once they master their mind, their feelings will be under control.
As for their confidence and seeing themselves as capable, this could be seen as something that will occur if they use certain affirmations and have the right thoughts. Changing what is taking place in their mind is going to be the answer to their problems.
Through applying what they learn, and doing this on a consistent basis, they may find that their life gradually begins to change. They can go from feeling as though they have no control over their feelings or their life, to feeling as though they have control over their feelings and their life.
This may also allow them to lead a life that is fulfilling, which will mean that their life will have taken a dramatic turn. Then again, what they may find is that they get a sense that something isn’t right.
An Empty Existence
If this is what does happen, it can seem strange given how much they wanted to experience life in this way. However, the reason why their life is not fulfilling could be because their life doesn’t reflect their true essence.
Instead, it could simply reflect their need for approval and to be accepted by others. Their mind is then going to be an expression of their false-self or their ego, not who they truly are at a deeper level.
To Be Expected
Considering that they were already out of touch with themselves and this gap was made even wider due to what they have added to their mind since they have been into self-development, it could be said that this is not much of a surprise. If anything, what they are going through is perfectly normal.
Ultimately, they will be living on the surface of themselves, having very little connection with what is taking place in their body. The only way that they will be able to connect to their true-self is if they reconnect to their body.
A New Outlook
Although they may believe that it is all about their mind and that their thoughts create their feelings, this is not the truth. Having this will view will have most likely caused them to repress their feelings.
This may have been something that they did long before they got into self-development, with this simply being a continuation of what already took place. More feelings will have built-up in their body and they will have become even more estranged from this part of them in the process.
When it comes to closing the gap between their mind and their body, it will be essential for them to reconnect to their feelings. Their body will be another part of them, being just under their head, but it may seem as though it is a millions miles away.
The reason for this is that it could be incredibly difficult for them to connect to their feelings and needs. This disconnection won’t have taken place overnight, so it won’t disappear overnight either.
The Foundations Were Laid
If self-development caused them to become even more estranged from themselves, what got the ball rolling, so to speak, could have been what took place during their early years. This may have been a time when they had no choice but to lose touch with their body.
At this stage of their life, they may have experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. Leaving their body would have been a way for them to stop themselves from being overwhelmed by pain, with them having no other option.
A Natural Reaction
Without a strong connection to their body, it would have been easy for them to accept that their thoughts always created their feelings. Their body could have just been seen as something that carried their head.
To see this part of them as an area where they not only experience feelings, but where feelings are also stored wouldn’t have made any sense. Their mind - a very small part of them - would have been seen as having a bigger affect on their life than their body - the part of them where their unconscious mind is located.
If one can relate to this, and they want to become a more integrated human being, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.