Self Development: Can Self Development Make Someone Dependent On Other People's Advice?

If one has a question about an inner or an outer challenge, there is a strong chance that they will soon be able to find an answer. This is something that can take place without them having to move too far, and this is because they only need to go online.

Through using the internet on their computer or some kind of device, they can type a question into a search engine and see what appears. During this time, they may come across articles, books, audio material and even videos.

Requirements

After reading an article or watching a video, they may soon find what they are looking for; however, this can all depend on what their requirements are. Once they have had one questioned answered, they may end up with another.

In this case, it might not be enough for them to carry on with the same approach, and they may end up buying a book or even attending some kind of course.

In The Past

Before the internet was available, it wouldn’t have been as easy for one to have their questions answered. The answers were not at their finger tips like they are today, and not only that, they might not have felt comfortable asking the same questions.

As a result of this, there was more chance of their questions remaining unanswered, and this would have meant that there was a greater chance of them suffering in silence. A big part of this may have been their need to maintain a certain image in the eyes of others.

Privacy

Now that one has the opportunity to have their questions answered without having to talk to anyone in person, they no longer need to compromise the image they present to others, and this means that they no longer need to suffer in silence.

This is not to say that one should feel ashamed for having problems and asking for help; as human beings are not meant to be perfect. But through being able to ask questions in this way, it allows one to protect their privacy.

Different Challenges

What the challenge is can define whether one feels the need to keep a challenge to themselves. This doesn’t mean that they won’t share it with others as time passes, but in the beginning they may just decide to see what answers they can find on a search engine.

Alternatively, this might just be the first step they take before they share what is taking place with the people around them, for instance. Either way, it has given one greater control when it comes to what happens when they are looking for answers.

Two Positions

One might be in a position where they need answers for a certain area of their life or they may be in a position where they have questions for just about every area of their life. If they are looking for answers in one area of their life, they may be able to carry on with the rest of their life, whereas, if they need answers for just about every area of their life, their search for answers could consume their whole life.

However, this can all depend on what area of their life they need assistance with; as one area could end up affecting other areas. And while having challenges is part of being human, there are going to be others who have experienced incredible challenges for as long as they can remember.

Pain

When one’s life is not going as they want it to go, they are going to experience pain, and this can then set them up to look for answers. Their behaviour is not just being driven by their need to change how they feel; it is also being influenced by their need to live a better life.

If it was simply about changing how they feel, they wouldnt need to look for answers; the only thing they would need to do is to find a way to numb their pain. They might end up feeling better, but their life is unlikely to improve in the long-term.

Desperation

When one is looking for answers, they may be coming from a place of desperation, and this is why they will need to get the right support. During the early stages, they might end up being dependent on what someone else has to say.

If this only lasts for a short period of time it might not be a problem, but if this was to become a way of life it will start to create problems. For one thing, it will stop them from being able to think for themselves and to come to their own conclusions.

Self-Trust

They may find it hard to trust themselves and this is because they will believe that other people always know what is best. And while it is important to be open to input from others, this doesn’t mean that one should place others people’s views above their own.

Therefore, one will need to take the time to think about what they are learning and to develop their own views. Through doing this, it will allow them to trust themselves and they won’t need to depend on what other people have to say.

A Catalyst

While other people can serve as a catalyst when it comes to one’s self development, they can’t be looked upon to provide all the answers. One is on their own journey and while other people can shine the light, they can’t walk the path for them.

Awareness

If one finds it hard to trust themselves, they may need to look at what they believe and to see if they are carrying any emotional baggage. This may be something that one can deal with by themselves or they may need to seek the assistance of a therapist or some kind of coach.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/