Nowadays, it is not uncommon for people to buy self-help books, with the hope that they will provide them with the answers that they are looking for. Perhaps they lack direction and/or they may not know how to behave in a relationship.
But while this will be as far as it will go for some people, there will be others who go even further. This may mean that they will end up going on at least one course and/or they could work with a coach.
The Ideal Outcome
When someone behaves in this way, they are most likely going to be pleased if they are able to gain some insight into what their purpose is and/or find out how to behave in a relationship. Once this has taken place, they may take a step back from this kind of material.
Their goal/s will have been achieved, so there will be no need for them to direct their energy in the same direction any longer. This is not to say that they won’t look for more answers further down the line though.
From the Beginning
After this person had been on the planet for a few years, there is the chance that they ended up going to school. This part of their life, then, would have been a time when other people told them things.
What they were told would have gradually been internalised, setting them up to have an inner pool of knowledge that had been passed on to them from others. Looking outside for answers as an adult is then nothing more than a continuation of what occurred during their early years.
An Empty Memory Bank
From day one, it would have been as if one knew nothing, and this is why they needed to be told everything. It was then vital for information to be downloaded into their brain or else they wouldn’t know anything.
Without this information, they would have grown into a human being who was completely lost and had no idea about anything. Therefore, just as they had no clue at this stage of their life and needed other people to supply them with the answers, the same thing will apply now that they are an adult.
The Big Difference
What will be different is that at this stage of their life, they will need information that wasn’t given to them when they were in the education system. If this information was given to them, perhaps there would be no need for them to look for these answers.
So, if anyone was to criticise them for looking for answers in books or any other way, they could say what they are doing is no different to what took place during their early years. The alternative would have been for them to have simply tolerated what was going on and to live a miserable life.
Another way of looking at this would be to say that the only reason one would need to look outside of themselves for answers is because they are not in touch with the answers that are within them. Through being out of touch with their inner guidance, it will be perfectly normal for them to look towards others.
Still, if someone is in this position, they can wonder what inner guidance is being spoken about here. As far as they are concerned, there could be absolutely nothing within them that could assist them.
What this could illustrate is that one doesn’t have a strong connection with their body. As a result of this, they may find that it is incredibly difficult for them to connect with their feelings.
If they were in touch with how they felt, there is a strong chance that they would be able to get an idea about what they need to do in life and/or how they need to behave in a relationship. This wouldn’t mean that they would no longer need any guidance from the external world; what it would mean is that this guidance would be balanced out by their inner guidance.
There is likely to be a fair amount of emotional pain in their body, with this being the reason why they have disconnected from it. The trouble is that while this has allowed then to avoid experiencing a lot of pain, it has also caused them to lose touch with their essence.
Ultimately, their true-self is not going to be found in their head; it will be found in their body. The emotional pain that is locked in their body could be due to what has taken place in their adult life or it could go back to what took place during their early years.
Living on the Surface
If it goes back to what happened during their early years, they may have experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. What took place would have overwhelmed their system, causing them to become a divided human being in the process.
But, as time went by their mind would have forgotten about what took place, which would have meant that they wouldn’t have been able to see why their life was this way. What this shows is how much of an impact trauma can have on someone’s personality.
It can seem as though this is just how they are; when in reality, how they are will be the result of trauma. As they begin to work through their trauma, they will gradually become a whole human being and connect to their true-self in the process.
This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.