Self-Development: Do Some People Only Judge Others If They Haven't Faced Their Own Issues?

When it comes to the people who are into self-development, it could be said that they all have one thing in common. What they all want is to do is to grow and to make their life better in some way.   

With this in mind, it is going to be a good idea for these kinds of people to spend time with each other. Through doing this, they will be able to give each other the support that they need, thereby making it easier for them to move forward.

The Ideal

Someone’s life is then going to be far better if their friends are also into self-development and, if they have a partner, it will help if this person is into it. One can give these people encouragement and these people can return the favour.

This is then going to be far better than it would be for them to be surrounded by people who are not interested in developing themselves. Being around people who were like this would create outer resistance.

Another Problem

As a result of this, not only would they need to deal with their own limits and the challenges that arise in their day-to-day life; they would also need to deal with the challenges that these people present. The energy that they would have to use to do this would be energy that they can’t put into making their life better.

What they might be able to achieve in a few weeks with the right people in their life, could take a number of months if they have the wrong people in their life. Then again, it could stop them from be able to achieve anything.

Part of the Journey

But, even if one was to have people in their life who were not supportive, this can illustrate what they themselves need to work on. So, the fact that this is going on could show that they don’t value themselves, for instance.

Along with this, they might not feel like a whole human being, which is why they can’t let these people go. Through being so concerned with losing others, it will have caused them to lose themselves.

An Important Step

The key is then going to be for them to get in touch with their own value and to gradually become a whole human being. Once this starts to take place, it will be a lot easier for them to walk away from the wrong people.

Losing themselves to keep other people around will no longer interest them. This is a process that could take a few months, or it could take a little while longer.

Opening Up

When one does have supportive people in their life, it will mean that they can talk about what is going within them. Regardless of what this may be, these people will be there to listen to what they have to say.

Someone is then going to empathise with them and it might be necessary for them to show compassion. If one was abused and/or neglected as a child and they were to open up about this, this type of response of going to be exactly what they need.

Another Outcome

Nevertheless, one could open up about what took place when they were younger and the effect that this has had on how they feel, for instance, and they could end up being judged. For example, another person could tell them to ‘get over it’ and to ‘move on’ with their life.

To hear something like this could come as a surprise; especially as this person is also going to be into self-development. The person who they thought would be able to be there for them is not going to be to show them the kind of understanding that they need.

Out of Touch

What this can show is that this person feels worthless; the difference is that they may have disconnected from how they feel at a deeper level. How they have responded to one’s vulnerability is likely to be similar to how they respond to the vulnerable part of themselves.

Perhaps their early years were also a time when they were abused in some way. Yet, while one is in touch with how they feel, this person is going to do everything they can to keep their pain at a distance.

Two Types

One can then congratulate themselves for having the courage to face how they feel and accept that this person is not ready to do this at this stage of their life. It is then not personal; it is just a reflection of where the other person is at in their own development.

One is then not just going to be into self-developing, they will also have the desire to work through their emotional baggage. The other person is only going to be interested in doing what they can to avoid their true-self.

Awareness

Consequently, it might be in their best interest to limit the amount of time that they spend with them, or to cut their ties altogether. What this empathises is that just because someone is onto self-development; it doesn’t mean that they want to heal themselves.
​
In this case, self-development can end up being another way for someone to run away from how their own pain. If someone does want to heal themselves and they are unsure about how to do this, they might need to reach out for the assistance of a therapist or a healer. 

---

​​If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.

• Join my Facebook Page.
• Follow me on Twitter.
• The books I have written.

Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk